What’s the most frequent comment I hear about the millennial in the workplace? They are lazy, entitled, snowflakes. Now that may be true for some of them (and some of us older peeps as well), but what if the millennials and the younger generations have actually figured out how to set boundaries around work? What if they actually seek a life of balance and fulfillment, versus one in which most of our time and energy is given to work? 

Here’s what I hear from the millennials: “My parents worked most of their life away and didn’t have much fun. They provided for us, but at what cost?” “I don’t want to spend all of my time at work for a company that might one day decide that they don’t need me anymore. I’ll never get those years back, so I’d rather close my computer at 5 p.m. and have time for the people and activities that I love the most.” “Work is so I can pay the bills and have fun after work. Work isn’t my life.” 

Boundaries or snowflakes? Sounds like some boundary setting to me. Many of the leaders and the executives that I work with are exhausted, burnt out, overwhelmed, and seeking more balance and stress reduction in their lives. They tell me that they love their work, and I truly believe that they do, and yet at what cost? Can we love our work and still work a reasonable number of hours in a week? Can we love our work and leave it at work at the end of the day so that we can enjoy our friends, families, hobbies, etc.? 

I LOVE my work. It fills me up in a way that I couldn’t imagine when I was younger. I’m grateful and lucky and I work really, really hard. Yet a couple of years ago I was feeling exhausted, unmotivated, and working far more than forty hours a week. I wasn’t showing up in the way that I wanted to for my clients or for myself. If I had kept up at that pace, I wouldn’t have continued to love my work and I would have done a disservice to me and my family. 

So, I set up a calendar with boundaries around it. I started saying no more often, which led to yes in my personal life. I fell back in love with my work and regained my emotional and physical energy in all other parts of my life. We can love our work and still set limits on it. The millennials might be on to something. It isn’t always easy to set these boundaries. Some leaders and/or companies might not want you when you set up those boundaries. And yet, what is the value of your life worth if some of it isn’t spent doing the things you enjoy and being with the people you love? 

Maybe those millennial snowflakes are actually unique, one of a kind, strong and icy beings who are here to teach us all some lessons on living a more balanced, fulfilled life. Maybe, just maybe, they have something to teach us old-timers and maybe setting some boundaries will feel lighter, younger, and more exciting in our very busy lives.  

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC