Here are some common things that I hear from my clients, “I’m so worried about her going to high school. I mean what if she doesn’t make friends.” “I’m so worried about his new friend because he may turn out to be bad news.” Or “I’m so sad that I’m going to lose my parents one day. I’m going to be so devastated. I know I can’t handle it.” “I’m really worried about dating because what if no one likes me or I make a fool of myself?” So what’s the common thread of so many of these comments? Worrying before you need to worry!
My clients (and many of us) are worried before we need to worry, grieving before we need to grieve, and generally being miserable before anything bad has even happened. Why the heck are we doing this? Some of it is normal human behavior to look ahead and feel concern but even though it is relatively normal, it certainly isn’t very helpful. What good does worrying do for us? Does it change anything? It only serves to stress you out and keep you from enjoying the moment you are in.
What Would Happen if You Didn’t Worry?
What would happen if we didn’t worry about things in the future that we have no control over? Oddly enough, you might actually be happier, have more fun, and more energy to do the things you want to do. What would actually happen if you didn’t grieve before you actually lost someone or something? Would you grieve more when that loss came? Probably not, so why not enjoy having that person or situation in your life until it actually ends.
Do you often tell yourself or your children to “not get your hopes up?” Is it really true that if you don’t get your hopes up you will be less disappointed? Why not get your hopes up, get excited, and dream? Either way if you don’t get what you want, you will probably be disappointed so why not hope? You can handle disappointment, you have in the past and you will again. You can handle sadness or concern over your family and friends. Why experience it before you need to? Why not enjoy the good times while you have them?
Yes, bad things will happen in our lives but why suffer them before we have to. Why ruin the good times with the worry of future bad times?
Happy summer to all of you,
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC
Don’t Let Stress Control Your Life
Stress is literally killing us. It is physically debilitating, emotionally exhausting, and a true relationship destroyer. Much of the common stress reduction advice is superficial and at best a Band-Aid. Lisa’s tried and true approach to permanent stress reduction has changed many of her client’s lives. She teaches you the exact steps you need to take to reduce stress for good regardless of the chaos around you.- When you know how to reduce the stress in your life and your reaction to it, you will be filled with happiness and relief.
- You will no longer fear stressful situations or how you will feel when you confront them.
- Without all of that stress your relationships will improve, you will be more productive, and filled with amazing energy.