A few weeks ago, famous Life Coach, Tony Robbins caused quite a stir when he apparently criticized the “MeToo” movement during one of his weekend events. The video is eleven minutes long and could easily have been taken out of context, but what was without question was Robbins lack of really listening to the woman who was challenging him in the video. He continually interrupts her and spends little time really hearing what she has to say.

Robbins is only human despite his guru-like following and ultimately apologized for his behavior on that day. He, like so many of us, struggled to listen when disagreeing with the person he was talking to. As the political divide in our country gets more intense and social media is often how we communicate, is it any wonder that true listening seems to be a lost skill?

That same week, I posted the video of Robbins on Facebook and asked for opinions from my coaching community. I got more than I bargained for when some people chose to criticize and belittle others on the thread. Clearly, Tony Robbins was not to be messed with! What was most discouraging, however, was the unwillingness of people to listen to each other’s point of view.

Some people said, “You’re wrong. Tony Robbins is right and that’s that.” Really? How different would these conversations be if we said, “Hmmm, you seem upset by that video. Tell me why?” Or, “Tell me how you feel about that interaction? What would you do in that situation?” And then really listen to the other person’s response without judgment.

How different would our world be if we actually met people where they are, listened to their opinions, and validated their experiences, whether we agreed with them or not? What might we accomplish if we not only listened to each other, but believed that our differences were merely temporary and with time and patience we could find ways to move forward together?

What does it cost you to really hear someone out? How willing are you to give it a try? Peace comes from acceptance and understanding and we need a lot more of that in our lives. I’m committing to listening better, how about you?

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC