Clients frequently tell me how broken they are. “I’m so messed up, so broken.” “Can you
believe I said these things?” My clients feel broken. They feel as if something is wrong with
them. The broken feeling is understandable when things aren’t going well, when you’re
anxious, stressed, or upset and yet why must those feelings be attached to broken?
Sometimes my clients briefly share about difficult childhoods and how those
childhood situations play out now that they are adults. Even if you’ve been abused in
any way, does that mean you are broken? It means some really crappy things
happened to you, but you are still priceless, absolutely valuable and perfect in every
way. Why are we so willing to give our value away because bad things happened to us?
We aren’t broken. We hurt. We grieve. We are angry. None of those make
us broken. If we continue to tell ourselves that we are broken, guess what? We’ll start to
believe it. We will live in the belief that we are less than. That we aren’t fully worthy of
love, connection, and success. We’ve bought someone else’s story or behavior toward
us and we are living in that story. That’s their story of you and you don’t need to believe
it. You are not broken.
A human can’t be broken. You can have broken bones, sad feelings, shame, disgust,
and regret. Those things don’t make you broken. They make you human
and all that comes with that humanity. Think about how much hurt you are causing
yourself by labeling yourself as broken and living in that belief.
What new story can you tell yourself when you start to think you are broken? What’s the
truth? It’s not that you are broken. It’s that you are a perfectly imperfect human who is
priceless, filled with value and possibility. Don’t do yourself the disservice of owning
broken. That’s not who you are.
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC
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Do you need help finding your voice, developing confidence and solution-centered plans to unlock the next chapter of your life in fulfilling ways that bring happiness and increased self-esteem (so that you’re not as affected by the crazy making behavior of others?) If so, I can help. Click here to learn more or inquire about my leadership and empowerment individual coaching options.