Most of my adult life has been spent feeling unhappy about my physical appearance. I’m too fat here, too small there, nothing looks good on me and blah, blah, blah. A few years ago, I decided to hop off of the “I hate how I look” bandwagon and decided to stop focusing on my appearance. It was a nice idea and for the most part it really worked. However, I didn’t realize that I had actually no idea how to eat and take care of myself without a focus on appearance.
I had always dieted and exercised to look a certain way. I would dramatically cut calories or eat a few certain foods in order to lose weight. I would spend time on an elliptical or treadmill, trudging away to burn calories but for no other reason. So when I fell off of the “looks” track, I hopped right onto the “not taking care of myself” track and began to feel pretty crappy. My weight went up, my energy went down, and apparently my triglycerides decided to climb Mt. Everest.
Time to Eat, Exercise, Live and Work in a Way that Feels Good
Now, I had changed the focus away from my appearance, but hadn’t replaced that with a focus on wellness. It was actually time for me to eat, exercise, live, and work in a way that was not only good for me, but that also felt good. Where was I to begin? Google searches will confuse you in minutes with so many mixed messages on what to eat and how to exercise. So I decided to figure it out for myself.
I started to experiment with different foods to see what sat well with me and what didn’t. I realized that I was eating far more than I needed to and that often it was food I didn’t digest well. I refused to label any food as either good or bad, but rather what tasted and felt good and what didn’t. I focused on why I wanted to be well and healthy. It felt awkward to focus on my well being versus my appearance. I’d never done that before in my life.
Stop Focusing on Appearance and Start Focusing on Wellness
Here’s the interesting thing. As soon as I stopped focusing on eating for appearance and started focusing on eating for wellness, not only did I feel better but I had more time and energy for work, family, and other pursuits. Wellness led to more success, more happiness, and more fun. I’ve lost some weight, but it really hasn’t been about the weight loss. It’s been about the good feelings that came from truly loving my body with actions versus words.
Women are spending thousands of dollars, many hours, and a whole lot of mental anguish focusing on how they look versus how they feel. How can we possibly be successful in life if we are eternally thinking about how we look? Success and happiness are directly tied to our physical and emotional well being. Why not find wellness through caring for yourself and getting healthy, instead of the endless and miserable pursuit for physical beauty?
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC