The Real Way To Know If You’re Beautiful

Not long ago, I came across something heartbreaking—teen girls posting videos on YouTube asking strangers, “Am I beautiful?” As you can imagine, the comment sections were brutal. Cruelty, judgment, and shame on full display. It’s the kind of thing that sticks with you, because while it might seem like a “teen thing,” I know this pattern doesn’t stop with adolescence.

So many women—smart, capable, soulful women—are still asking that question in quieter, more “grown-up” ways:

“Do I look okay?”

“Should I get fillers?”

“Is this dress too much?”

“Am I still desirable?”

If you’ve ever found yourself asking that question, even silently, I’d like to offer you something much more reliable than internet opinions: my tried-and-true Beautyometer Checklist.
 

1. Ask the ones who’ve seen you at your messiest

Your parents or grandparents (if they’re the supportive kind)? They’ve seen it all—tantrums, food in your hair, snot, sleepless nights. If they still tell you you’re beautiful, believe them. That’s not obligation. That’s real love seeing your real light.

And if they’re not the kind to say that to you? That doesn’t mean you aren’t beautiful—it just means their vision has been clouded by their own pain. Not your fault. Not your truth. Surround yourself with people who can see you clearly.

2. Ask your kids (or notice how they respond to you)

If you’re a mom, your children know your beauty in a way no mirror ever could. If they’re still little, the way their faces light up when you walk into a room? That’s love. That’s beauty. If they’re older, they may roll their eyes—but deep down, you’re still home to them. That’s a kind of beauty nothing can touch.

3. Ask your dog

I’m serious. Your dog thinks you’re the queen of the universe. They cry when you leave and lose their minds when you come back. That’s not just devotion—it’s recognition. They see you. And they don’t care about your mascara or your waistline. They care about the energy you carry, the love you give. And that? That’s beauty.

(Cats, horses, or any creature with soulful eyes will also do.)

4. Ask your best friends

You know the ones. The friends who miss you when you’re gone, call just to hear your voice, and don’t hesitate to tell you when your sparkle is showing—or when it needs a little dusting off. If your friends seek your insight, share their truth with you, or light up when you arrive—congratulations. You are radiating beauty from the inside out.

5. And finally… ask you

Because none of the above matters if you don’t believe it for yourself.

Do you look in the mirror and smile at the face looking back?

Do you honor that face not for how closely it matches a filtered standard, but because it’s yours?

Do you see the belly that’s held grief or babies or joy and think, thank you?

You can’t wait for others to crown you. You have to claim it. Beauty isn’t something you earn—it’s something you remember.

Let’s Be Clear:

If someone in your life is making you question your worth or your beauty, it might be time to lovingly show them the door. Life’s too short to shrink yourself to fit into someone else’s limited vision. You were not made to be small, invisible, or “acceptable.” You were made to shine.

So build your own fan club. Make yourself president. Keep company with the ones who see your magic. Because YES—you are beautiful. Not “once I lose weight,” not “after Botox,” not “when I finally figure it all out.”

You are beautiful right now—messy, radiant, human, and whole.

Love,