About 6 years ago, I declared my husband and I to be empty nesters. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Since that time we’ve had children coming, going, moving in, moving out, and plopping in our house for an hour to days at a time. Covid was responsible for some of it and the chaos of life for the rest of it. It has been wonderful to not have an empty nest. I needn’t have shed all the tears I shed when I thought they had moved out for good.
At one point over the last few years, we thought that none of our children would live near us. One was in Indiana, one in New York, and one in Los Angeles. We had come to terms with the possibility that this was going to be permanent. And yet, in 2024, the last of the three moved home and now live in the Chicago area. Including our incredible new granddaughter, and two grand puppies. Although this is subject to change, my husband and I revel in our not-even-close-to-empty nest.
Adult children are truly a gift that we deserve after raising them for 20+ years. Raising children is harrowing, exhausting, exhilarating, fun, and so many other feelings. Adult children who have now become our friends is the gift of a lifetime. The nest feels full in a different way because they all have their own lives and they fly in and out of ours.
As my son and his wife have now become parents, I’m reminded of the overwhelm of being a new parent, the fears, the joy, the sleep deprivation, all of it. I don’t think I have the stamina to do all of that again and yet it was worth every moment of exhaustion to now have three wonderful adults who I call my children.
Parenting also really helped me to realize that nothing in life is permanent.
Some stages of parenting sucked. I mean that with love. Sleep deprivation is a nightmare (pun intended). Temper tantrums, childhood illnesses, tears, messes, sassy teenagers, and the outrageous financial demands of raising children were all temporary. We got through them all.
And knowing that, as parents or not, that we will get through things is so empowering. This isn’t permanent. Nothing is. You will get through this. Your nest will change, and your life will change, hold on for the ride.
Love,
Certified Professional Coach and Psychologist
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How often have you wished for that person in your life who listens deeply, doesn’t judge you, and doesn’t try to fix you? That person who holds space for you to talk through your struggles, your hopes, and dreams so that you can live the personal and professional life that you truly want? I’m that person. Yes, I’m a psychologist and a professional life and leadership coach but my superpower is listening, deep, empathic, compassionate listening. If you’ve been seeking a professional listener who will help you live the life you truly desire, let’s set up a time to talk. My email is Lisa@LisaKaplin.com.