I’m writing this post ahead of time because on the day that it’s sent out I will be moving my youngest child into his college dorm. Two days after that move-in, my husband and I will drive away, get on a plane, and come home to an empty nest. It will be the first time in 25-½ years that we have lived without children in our home. I’m equal parts thrilled and filled with dread. I’m not dreading time with my husband, but rather time without my children.
As when my older two children left for college, I know that I will adapt. Yet it was easier to adapt with their siblings still living at home. This time, only the dog waits for me. When my kids were babies, I literally dreamt of this day. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, run down, sleep deprived, and couldn’t imagine a day that wasn’t filled with children. However, as my kids got older, I started to think that maybe the empty nest wasn’t such a great thing.
For those of you who are headed home to an empty nest, I’m sending you virtual hugs and good wishes. #emptynest #college #parenting Click To TweetIs there any other situation in life in which we both long for and dread the very same thing? I can’t think of it. Parenting is such a unique and complicated experience. It’s filled with love and excitement, as well as exhaustion and misery. Who could ever fully describe these experiences without sounding more than a bit confused? I remember a few very exhausting weeks when my youngest was a newborn baby. I looked at a dear friend and said, “Is it wrong to be excited for them to go to college?”
We had a good laugh over that because we both knew that I had a very long way to go. Yet here I am, a mere eighteen years later, helping that baby move into his college dorm thousands of miles away from our home. What the hell was I thinking when I longed for this day? On the other hand, I’m so filled with joy, pride and excitement for him that I can barely stand it. As with the other two college drop offs, I’m sure to alternate between joyous laughter and wracking sobs for the next few weeks.
Parenting is not for wimps. It’s one of the greatest experiences of life and also one of the most terrifying. I wouldn’t trade a minute of it, but I’m sure that it’s not for everybody. For those of you who are headed home to an empty nest, I’m sending you virtual hugs and good wishes. Some of you are celebrating right now, some of you are sobbing, and some of you are just like me…doing a little bit of both.
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC
You brought me to tears for even though it has been more than 30 years that I had to let them go, I remember it like yesterday. My son is 54 now and my daughter would have been 52 had she lived. How I treasure those days way back when, when they worried and,aggravated me to death but still loved them beyond imagination and was excited for them to be on their own and experience their own personal adventures. When you are as antique as I am you still miss the slamming of the doors, waiting by the window to make sure they pulled in the driveway in one piece and having your home filled with noise, laughter, friends, stories and what’s for dinner Mom? What I wouldn’t give to go back in time. I would appreciate everyday, every memory, every event even more…. Love you Lisa, you always have your zany aunt to lend an ear. Much good luck and college happiness to David.
Love you too my zany aunt!!