The Dad Advantage

This weekend is Father’s Day. Since my father lives many states away, I won’t be spending this day with him. Yet his influence in my life has little to do with a daylong celebration once a year. When I think about the influences in my life and the people who gave me so many advantages toward a life filled with joy and meaning, my dad will always be at the very top of that list.

In an era when male characters such as those found in the hit show Mad Men were common, my father broke that mold. He was a hands-on father before the term became popular and he was that way without cajoling from my mother or others in his life. He wanted to be with his children and he let us know it both in word and deed. He was equally adept at helping me with my hair for dance recitals as he was at throwing a ball in the yard with either my brother or me.

My dad has always been completely devoted to his family. There has been no one else in my life who has loved me as unconditionally as he has and that has been truly one of the greatest advantages of my life. My father looks at me as if I’m the greatest human in the world. He tells me that I’m a fabulous mother even when there may be evidence to the contrary. He has supported every career and educational move that I’ve ever made. He loves my husband as his own son and my children even more than that. In his eyes, my family is more fabulous than sliced bread.

The Power of a Positive Father Figure

As a child, I internalized his love and that has sustained me through serious bouts of insecurity and lack of trust in myself. The Dad Advantage is one that I see missing in others and they seek to find it elsewhere, sometimes in unhealthy ways. That’s understandable because as children we look to our parents for guidance in how to see ourselves. My father’s eyes reflected only love and acceptance. What a true gift that has been and I will be forever grateful.

My dad turns 80-years-old in December. He has been a source of only good in his 80 years of life. I’ve never seen my father be mean to anyone or speak unkindly about others. He is never aggressive or violent, he loves animals and those animals in his care are blessed with lots of attention and affection. He has been a loyal and constant companion to my mother. My mother once accused me of thinking that my father was perfect. She wasn’t wrong. My father is a peaceful, kind soul who makes the world a better place.

This Father’s Day I will celebrate my husband, my father-in-law, but most especially the man who has given me the Dad Advantage…my incredible father.

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC