Thankful Today and Every Day

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you wonderful people who read my newsletter, send me thoughtful and kind comments, and share your stories with me. I started blogging as a way to express myself and it turned into a beautiful way to connect with others while still sharing my own thoughts and feelings. I write to not feel so alone and also to have others feel connected as well. There isn’t a day that goes by that I’m not grateful for the work I do and the people I meet because of it.

Being thankful every single day has helped me to be a happier, kinder person. It’s so easy to find fault with ourselves, others, the world, etc. I don’t believe we should ignore the negative and scary things that are currently going on in our world, yet I also believe that at the same time we should acknowledge what is right and good. Gratitude and concern don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

Gratitude doesn’t mean that I don’t see that others are suffering or struggling in some way, but rather that I am grateful for what I have and don’t take it for granted. I’m not asking others to be grateful because I know sometimes we are in far too much pain to feel that way. I also don’t think gratitude should be a cop out for looking at the tough issues in our own life and doing some of the hard work to change those issues.

Be Grateful and Empathetic

I recently learned of the term, “spiritual bypass.” Essentially, it means using our spirituality, gratitude, religion, etc. to avoid acknowledging difficult situations or even empathy for the pain that others may be suffering. It’s an interesting concept in that I sometimes notice that most of us want to “fix” someone who is hurting. We say things such as, “Don’t feel bad. Others have it worse.” Or, “That’s no big deal. Get over it.” Neither is particularly helpful and doesn’t allow others to experience their own feelings at their own pace.

Being thankful is my way of acknowledging what is right in my life and the people who help make my life better. Gratitude isn’t a crutch, but rather a very conscious decision to be sure that while I struggle with life’s big issues, I never forget to notice all that is good as well. Every day, I write in a journal and list all I’m grateful for. I’m always grateful for my incredible family, yet it’s also fun to get a bit creative about other things to be grateful for. Apparently, coffee is very high on my list.

So maybe today take a minute to be thankful for what’s right, notice what isn’t, and ask yourself how you can turn that “isn’t” into something that works for you. Happy holiday, lovely people. Eat, drink, and be merry as often as you can.

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC