As most of us adults can suggest, some days are better than others and some years are better than others. We all go through tough times, sometimes even tragic times. Life is a series of events and some of them we love and some, not so much. One of my clients, who was having a particularly challenging year, told me that he is “actively seeking moments of joy.” When I asked him what that looked like for him, he said that when he’s struggling or upset he goes out of his way to find something that feels like joy to him.
It sounds like a pretty simple concept, yet the ability to do what my client was doing is not always so easy. When we are feeling a great deal of stress, overwhelm, physical struggles, or relationship issues, it can be challenging to find the joy in those moments. The secret, as my client suggested, is to actively look for things that bring us joy even when our thoughts and feelings are suggesting otherwise.
One of the greatest emotional challenges that I’ve faced in my life is turning around a bad mood. When I get upset about something, I can so easily get stuck in that feeling and carry it around with me for days. And although my upset in those times is understandable, dragging that bad mood and energy around for any length of time doesn’t change anything. It does, however, make me feel worse and then I’m not very enjoyable to be around.
When my children were babies and toddlers, I dreaded the witching hour. The witching hour is that hour or two late in the afternoon prior to dinner when everyone is exhausted and cranky. My kids would get cranky, I’d get cranky, and then my husband would walk into the house to find a bunch of cranky people. It was hard to switch out of that to have a nice dinner and a nice evening. My dread, however, certainly didn’t help matters. One day, I turned on music during the witching hour. I know, it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out that something as simple as music might help, but I was too cranky to even figure this out earlier. Anyway, I turned on some fun music and the whole mood of my house changed. And there it was. I sought the joy, I found it and I changed the energy of my home.
My point here is that even seeking a tiny bit of joy or fun can turn a challenging situation or day into something much more pleasant. It takes a conscious effort to do so because it’s easy to get stuck in that unhappy mood or thought. My client found things that easily brought him joy and sought those things out during his difficult year. It’s beyond gratitude, which is helpful, and rather about little bursts of joy. So how will you seek moments of joy throughout your day?
Love,
Certified Professional Coach and Psychologist
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How often have you wished for that person in your life who listens deeply, doesn’t judge you, and doesn’t try to fix you? That person who holds space for you to talk through your struggles, your hopes, and dreams so that you can live the personal and professional life that you truly want? I’m that person. Yes, I’m a psychologist and a professional life and leadership coach but my superpower is listening, deep, empathic, compassionate listening. If you’ve been seeking a professional listener who will help you live the life you truly desire, let’s set up a time to talk. My email is Lisa@LisaKaplin.com.