I’m not sure why time seems to go faster as each year passes but I know that saying so makes me sound like my grandparents! As the year comes to an end how will you look back at this year? With regrets, unfinished business, goals not met, gratitude, hope, or some combination of all of these?
In January most people make New Year resolutions but studies tell us that those often fall apart long before spring hits. Why is that? Some of it is that we make unrealistic resolutions that are essentially doomed to fail before we begin. We also fail because we don’t have a solid plan of how to manage those tough days or unplanned circumstances.
Focusing on the Wrong Resolutions
Yet I believe we fail because we are focusing on the wrong resolutions. Weight loss, more exercise, getting organized, and quitting smoking are wonderful goals but if you think about it, they are often the result of other habits. Almost any bad habit that we adopt started from your mindset. Maybe we had a mindset of fear, stress, or overwhelm and we picked up a bad habit to help us manage those thoughts and feelings. That mindset needs to change in order to change the habit.
So maybe our New Year resolutions should focus on recognizing negative or unhelpful thoughts or mindsets and working on changing those prior to changing the behavior. Maybe our thinking is the problem and leads us to the behaviors that we ultimately want to change. Our mindset or negative thoughts are the bad habits that we need to deal with first in order to change the behaviors that go with them.
Cut the Self Criticisms
Instead of cutting calories we might choose to cut the criticisms of ourselves or the defeating thoughts that hold us back. It’s not the calories that are the problem it’s how we think about the calories and ourselves that keeps us from living the life that we want. So why not set a resolution to change your mindset and those nasty bad habit thoughts as you head into an amazing 2014?
I’ve got some really BIG news coming up with new group coaching classes, individual coaching packages, and a big event in February for all you moms out there. Have a wonderful holiday season and I’ll ‘talk’ to you next year.
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC