Last month one of my heroes died. She was flawed and imperfect, and yet someone I so admired. Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the Supreme Court justice, mother, wife, woman, and Jew represented so many aspects of womanhood that matter to me. Ginsburg was tireless in her fight for equality for all genders, and frequently all Americans. She worked nearly to her death and seemed happy to do so in that she found such joy and passion in her work. Ginsburg gave so much of herself to this country and I, for one, am grateful.

My mother, when she first married, couldn’t have a credit card in her name alone, couldn’t have a mortgage in her name, and couldn’t do much financially in the world without my father. She was raised to plan for her own marriage, but not her own life. I saw her and so many other women from her generation suffer greatly because of this. When women were simply someone else’s wife or mother, they had little identity or purpose that was theirs alone. Ginsburg worked to change that.

What many don’t know about Ginsburg is that she fought for men’s rights as well. She did so because she believed that equality for all was beneficial to all. She found that the Social Security Act of 1935 discriminated against men based solely on their gender, so she fought (and won) against an unfair system. Many of her cases have changed the way all Americans live their lives today. Ginsburg was small in stature, quiet, seemingly kind, and yet so powerful.

Ginsburg’s ability to befriend those who didn’t agree with her and to discuss those disagreements without rancor or belittling others is a lesson that many of today’s leaders could learn from. She was rational and passionate, as well as tough and fearless. The fact that she was a woman and Jewish certainly led me to see her as a role model and someone I could look up to. Her death felt like a true blow to my heart.

Watching my mother’s generation of women struggle to find independence, equality, purpose, and the ability to financially support themselves struck a chord with me. Seeing that many women still don’t get paid as much as men and still suffer at the hands of sexual harassment, both infuriates and saddens me. How can it be that we are still struggling with these issues? I’ve been a life-long feminist, proud of it, and proud to support women, even those I don’t always agree with.

Ginsburg’s death also motivated me to speak out and to do so clearly, confidently, and without cruelty. It’s going to be a work in progress and yet one worth the effort. Rest well RBG. You will be missed by so many, but most especially by me.

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC