My husband and I are pretty opinionated people and we are highly passionate about our opinions. Our three children have been raised in periodic moments of volatile discourse because of their parents’ passionate beliefs and willingness to express those beliefs. It happens that their cousins, aunt, uncles, and grandparents share some of this level of opinionated behaviors, and thus much of my children’s lives have been spent watching verbal tennis matches. No argument is too trivial for this family, and no opinion too extreme.

When I became a mother, I spent time thinking about the home I was going to raise my children in, the values that I wanted to impart to them, and my hopes for them as they hit adulthood. Besides their physical well-being, I wanted my children to be critical thinkers. I wanted them to learn how to not fall for propaganda or passionate opinions that don’t include facts and science. Education is a top priority for both my husband and me, not just academic education, but also life education. 

It’s easy as parents to say, “We believe this and you must too.” Yet that statement doesn’t include why or any of the nuances that come with strong belief systems. I wanted my children to understand and look at all sides of a discussion and to find their own truths within those explorations. This includes politics, religion, and financial discussions. Who wouldn’t want their children to be bright, independent thinkers?

When Our Independent Kids Become Opinionated Adults

Well people, be careful what you wish for! This pandemic has my two younger children back in the nest for at least six months, if not more and they are ready, willing, and able to challenge absolutely any idea that their father and I have. Our oldest has been equally as happy to challenge us via phone calls or emails. We have argued/discussed what belongs in the refrigerator and what doesn’t, how long one can or should leave leftovers, where bread belongs, where onions belong, and how to arrange a spice rack. And that, my friends, was only the beginning of the discussions in my home.

We’ve discussed transgender rights, LGBTQ issues, why marriage is antiquated, why materialism has destroyed the environment, why a two-party political system is for old people, why our education systems are worthless, why “Ok boomer” is one of the more popular phrases of the day, why TikTok is a generational tool of rebellion, why J.K. Rowling disappointed a whole generation of super fans, why movie theatres are unnecessary, and why we shouldn’t be using paper towels or plastic water bottles. The murder of George Floyd led to some intense and eye-opening conversations with my children in which they schooled my husband and me frequently with both their knowledge and their opinions.

If you want your children to be bright, independent thinkers, be ready to debate with them when they are smart, opinionated adults. #parenting #education #debate #argument Click To Tweet

Dear reader, I got what I wished for. I have children with an opinion. I’m both proud and exhausted. I no longer fear that they won’t stand up for themselves or work to make the world a better place. Rather, I fear for my sanity. I thought that the newborn stage was the most tiring stage of parenting. I was wrong. I’m finding myself doing extra reading and compiling research in order to have the next discussion with my children. If you also raised children to have a voice, you are most likely as exhausted as I am. I’m ready to read trashy novels and watch mindless tv shows. I think when my young adults move out again, I’ll take a week off to rest my brain. After that, I will revel in pride that my husband and I contributed three independent thinkers to the world, for better or worse!

By the way, if your children ever mention the concept of a humble brag, this blog is the perfect example of just that.

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC