Radical Acceptance Revisited (Yet Again)

Oh, the things I learn from my clients! How often do their insights lead to some of my own? Let’s just say, daily. Acceptance is a big topic with my clients. I work with really smart, successful people who are often outrageously hard on themselves. We talk about how acceptance is the key to growth, moving forward, and even more greatness and yet, that can be so challenging to actually live.

We talk about radical acceptance and how acceptance is radical in that it accepts all of it, all of us, flaws and all. One of my clients had really been struggling with this concept. He kept talking about feeling so much better when others gave him compliments and kudos. Who could blame him? Most of us feel that way. Our acceptance comes from the acceptance of us by others. We look outward for love. Although that’s pretty normal, it really isn’t very helpful.

My client and I talked about radical acceptance REGARDLESS of what others thought of us. Admittedly, we both struggled with that. It doesn’t mean not being discerning about ourselves, but rather it means to not judge ourselves, ever. EVER. Seriously. Can you imagine not judging yourself no matter what? What would be different in your life if you started to live this way?

Radical acceptance of yourself, flaws and all, is actually the key to growth and self-improvement. #RadicalAcceptance #self-improvement Click To Tweet

What if you radically accepted yourself no matter what? Again, this doesn’t mean to not learn, grow, or change, but rather it means to do those things from a place of complete acceptance. Think about trying to motivate yourself or others from a place of judgment and derision. How well does that go? Typically, not well at all. Now think about truly believing that you will be accepted and not judged, no matter what. How free does that feel?

You can’t lose that way. You will either achieve what you wanted to achieve or learn something about why you didn’t. There will be no emotional beat up or criticism, but rather all growth and all learning. Internal radical acceptance is a magic elixir that will let you move through life and take risks, express yourself, and grow no matter what happens. Can you imagine? Maybe it’s time that you did.

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC