One of my coaching clients has a high-pressure job. She leads a large team, manages major projects, and juggles constant demands from every direction. Her days are filled with meetings, decisions, and expectations that often feel impossible to meet.
Recently, she told me she’d been spending hours—sometimes whole evenings—agonizing over which shade of blue to paint a single room in her home. She ordered sample after sample, painted swatches on the wall, stared at them under every kind of light … and still couldn’t decide.
At first, she laughed about it. “I don’t know why this is driving me crazy,” she said. But when we explored it together, the reason became clear.
It wasn’t really about the paint.
It was about control.
Her work life is unpredictable. The economy shifts, clients change priorities, leadership
directions pivot overnight. She’s responsible for outcomes she can’t fully influence, and that
constant pressure builds up. So her mind found a refuge—something small, tangible, and totally hers to decide.
Paint colors.
In a world that felt chaotic, choosing the perfect color was a way to regain control. It was
something she could fix, measure, and “get right.” But even there, the stress crept in—second-guessing herself, striving for perfection, worrying about making the “wrong” choice.
We talked about how common this pattern is. When life feels uncertain, we often double down on the small things we can control. We micromanage the details, obsess over choices that don’t really matter, and convince ourselves that perfection in one corner of life might calm the chaos everywhere else.
But control is a tricky illusion.
What actually brings peace isn’t more control—it’s acceptance. It’s learning to notice when we’re gripping too tightly and reminding ourselves that we can still feel grounded even when things are uncertain.
My client eventually chose a color. It’s not perfect—she still thinks it might be a little too gray—but she also decided that peace of mind mattered more than perfection.
Sometimes, the best thing we can do for ourselves is stop trying to find the perfect paint and start learning to breathe in the uncertainty.
Love,
Certified Professional Coach and Psychologist
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How often have you wished for that person in your life who listens deeply, doesn’t judge you, and doesn’t try to fix you? That person who holds space for you to talk through your struggles, your hopes, and dreams so that you can live the personal and professional life that you truly want? I’m that person. Yes, I’m a psychologist and a professional life and leadership coach but my superpower is listening, deep, empathic, compassionate listening. If you’ve been seeking a professional listener who will help you live the life you truly desire, let’s set up a time to talk. My email is Lisa@LisaKaplin.com.