Raise your hand if you’ve made the same New Year’s resolution for many years in a row? (Author raises her hand). Me, I have! Maybe it’s because New Year’s resolutions are a bizarre way of setting goals or maybe we just don’t know how to set goals. Either way, rarely do we accomplish those resolutions. The yearly, new year, new you comes rolling out and by January 13th or so, we realize it’s the same us as last year.
First off, let’s celebrate the same you. You don’t need a new you. You are great. You’re smart, kind, and fabulous just the way you are. Your worth isn’t tied to your next goal or your next New Year’s resolution. Trying to achieve a goal from a place of, “I’m not good enough as is” is like trying to swim against a current. It’s not going to work, and you are going to be worn out and cranky from trying.
Next, let’s discuss why you don’t achieve those resolutions. There are a few typical reasons: 1) It’s not something that you really want. 2) You don’t really know how to achieve them. 3) You are terrified to try because you might fail, and that would surely be the end of the world. So, before you bang yourself on the head for not achieving this year’s resolution, stop and ask yourself why you haven’t achieved it. Be honest with yourself.
Third, if you’ve realized that you don’t really want that goal or resolution, drop that damn thing. Let it go. Remove it from your head and move on. If you don’t know how to achieve it, stay tuned. And if you are terrified that you might fail, either hire a coach or a therapist (Funny you should ask. I am available.) and/or stay tuned.
Here’s why most of us don’t achieve our resolutions or goals…we don’t know how to go about doing so. We set these big resolutions like losing twenty pounds, working out every day, getting organized, finding a life partner, etc. Those are all great goals but my gosh, they are too big, too ambiguous, and far too overwhelming. If you want to achieve those goals, you need to break them down into the smallest piece possible, That piece should be, what’s the first step to take?
To lose twenty pounds you want to break it down into your diet, your hydration, and your movement. Then you are going to want to break each of those down into smaller, measurable bites (pun intended). What’s the first step? Maybe it’s to research local gyms. Maybe it’s to add protein to your diet or to eat fewer sweets. Make those small steps measurable. Reduce sweets to one chunk of chocolate three times a week. Choose a gym by January 15th and then commit to going 1 hour daily, three days a week. Make it small and achievable so that you start to feel successful toward your goal.
If you find that you are not starting or that you keep stopping, check back in with yourself. Is it a goal that you want? Is it a goal that scares the heck out of you? If you’re stuck, did I mention hiring a coach or a therapist to help figure it out? Ask yourself this question, “When January of 2026 comes around, do I want to be setting the same resolution again or do I want to set new goals for the new year? Same you, new year, new resolutions sound like a wonderful way to start each year.
Love,
Certified Professional Coach and Psychologist
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How often have you wished for that person in your life who listens deeply, doesn’t judge you, and doesn’t try to fix you? That person who holds space for you to talk through your struggles, your hopes, and dreams so that you can live the personal and professional life that you truly want? I’m that person. Yes, I’m a psychologist and a professional life and leadership coach but my superpower is listening, deep, empathic, compassionate listening. If you’ve been seeking a professional listener who will help you live the life you truly desire, let’s set up a time to talk. My email is Lisa@LisaKaplin.com.