Next year is a big birthday for me (I’ll let you guess which one.) and I realize that I’ve picked up some great life hacks along the way. I share them with my kids, but maybe a few of you will benefit from some of the things that I’ve found to be crucial as part of a successful life journey.
- Get comfortable speaking in public. Apparently, some people are less afraid of dying than of speaking in public. I can really empathize with that and yet push you to move past that fear. Good, or even decent, public speaking is such a key part of getting along in the world. Can you speak up at a meeting? Can you share an idea in a confident and clear way? Lots of really brilliant people can’t! What’s the best way to learn how to be comfortable speaking publicly? Practice. Consider pulling a group together to help each other do this. Video tape yourself giving a short talk and use that recording to learn and grow. Consider Toastmasters, which is a great organization that helps people to become more professional public speakers. No matter what you do in life, getting comfortable using your voice in public is going to be crucial.
- Ask other people about themselves. Seriously. Please do this. I can’t tell you how frequently someone will ask to network with me and then spend the whole time talking about themselves. I LOVE hearing about other people so I don’t mind that at all, but if you are networking or getting to know each other, it’s important to make sure you are listening as much as you are talking.
- Don’t give people advice unless they specifically ask for it. If someone wants to talk to you about a situation they are having, don’t assume they want your advice or opinion about it. Most people want someone to really listen to them without judgment and with compassion. If you are not sure someone wants your advice, ask “Would you like me to give you the space to tell your story or would you like me at some point to give you advice?” So frequently people want to tell their story without interruption or someone trying to fix it for them.
- On the other side of this, don’t assume that everyone wants to hear your story. I frequently see people taking over conversations to the frustration of others around them. Be aware of the response or reactions of others. Not everyone has the time or the interest to hear everything about you, so maybe they are not the right person to share your story with and that’s okay.
- Learn how to listen. Really listen from a deep place of hearing and understanding. I often hear people say, “I hear you.” And I often find that when they say that, they actually are not hearing the other person, but rather wanting them to stop talking so that they can share their own opinion.
- Get comfortable with technology. It’s here to stay. If you aren’t comfortable and somewhat adept, you will hurt your career and probably aspects of your personal life. It is no longer acceptable to be completely uncomfortable with basic technology skills. Don’t even bother telling me that you can’t learn. That’s a lie. Of course you can learn. You just are not comfortable doing so and that’s okay. Learning new things can be hard. You can do it and you won’t be sorry when you do.
I probably have a full book of life hacks, but these are the most obvious to me right now. I hope I don’t sound too judgy with these, but rather informative because these hacks have certainly helped me in all aspects of my life. I think they can help you too. I’d love to hear your life hacks as well.
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC