Let’s Talk About Gender

I’m old enough to remember a time in which not one physician in my life was a female. Not one. Not a dentist, doctor, gynecologist, none. They were all men, they were all white, and for many years I didn’t even think that women or people of color could be doctors. That doesn’t seem to make sense today, but that was the reality for many of us. I’m not saying that any of these men weren’t excellent medical professionals. They were. I’m grateful for them and the care I received in their very qualified hands.

AND, it has been a joy to also have women and people of color as my doctors. It took me awhile to realize that I had a variety of unconscious bias around the professionals in my life. If I’d previously only known doctors as white men, then of course that’s what I sought out or expected until I realized that being white and male isn’t the only way to be a physician. Gender also isn’t a requirement for most careers or life roles, and yet we often automatically put people into categories.

When we think of frazzled parents, we often think of women in that position. When we think of corporate CEOs, we often think of men in those positions. What would be different if we stopped gendering our roles in life and actually opened our minds to think of everyone as able and willing parents, physicians, CEOs, etc.? How would life be different if we took gender out of our expectations and put human into them?

What would be different if we stopped gendering our roles in life? What if we would allow others to choose the gender (or not) that feels the most authentic to them? #gender #genderroles #nonbinary #transgender Click To Tweet

Maybe then we could see any gender as a parent or any gender as a pilot or CEO. When I was growing up, most girls thought about being teachers or nurses and ultimately mothers who stayed at home. All of these are worthy and wonderful roles, but SO limiting. Yet it was also limiting for young boys who maybe wanted to be teachers or nurses or stay at home parents. Gendering any role limits us all. It limits our potential, our curiosity, and our life’s purpose and design.

Imagining a World Without Gender Limitations

Many people seem to be reactive to the gender discussion. They seem angry that many want to remove the boundaries that gender definitions have put on so many of us. That’s somewhat understandable in that many of us love our gender! I love being a woman and all the unique characteristics that being a woman has brought to my life. What if we could love our gender and not use it to limit or label ourselves and others? What if we would allow others to choose the gender (or not) that feels the most authentic to them? What if we stopped being so focused on gender and started to focus on humanity, kindness, and how gender is such a small and often limiting aspect of who we are and who we want to be in the world?

What if our kids can choose any role they want in life and those roles aren’t defined by gender? Our kids seem to get this and have released so many of the limitations around gender related to appearance, behaviors, and life roles. As is often the case, the kids are alright. Maybe it’s time for us to join them.

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC