A few weeks ago, I woke up with an absolutely miserable stomach bug. I couldn’t function at all. I cancelled my whole work day. When my husband called to check on me, I couldn’t even answer the phone. I couldn’t read or even watch tv. At one point, I just asked God to take me because I was so miserable. I try not to be too dramatic when I get sick, but this day called for some extra drama and misery. 

 If you had asked me in all of my dramatic misery if I was grateful for my life, I think I would have smacked you. No seriously. I couldn’t think past my own physical discomfort in those moments. I was in survival mode. Too dramatic still?  I couldn’t function beyond the moment I was in and any attempts beyond that certainly didn’t seem possible in the moment. 

 Other than looking for some sympathy for my day of hell, what’s my point? My not-so-subtle point is that when we are in the middle of a crisis, be it emotional or physical, be it real or imagined, it’s hard to see beyond that very painful moment. Not too long ago, I was upset about a situation at work and a colleague said to me, “Well at least you don’t have the issues that the other team has.” And although that was true, it felt like that person didn’t hear me at all and certainly didn’t try to show me compassion or empathy. What they said was not only unhelpful, but actually led to me feeling worse and not heard. 

 If my husband came home from work on the day that I was down with the stomach bug and said, “At least you don’t have cancer.” I would have been more than a bit annoyed with him. Luckily for him, he was  compassionate, caring and not overly reactive to me telling him that I was surely dying. Gratitude is a powerful healer and motivater, and yet only when we are ready to be grateful. 

 The day after my near-death stomach bug, I was so very grateful for my life, for my good health, and for the twenty-four hours that I could fit easily into my skinny jeans. Gratitude came easily when I was feeling well and I was able and ready to look around to all that I had to be grateful for. Be patient with yourself and with others when you or they aren’t ready to be grateful. Gratitude isn’t something that can be forced, yet rather released when we are ready to do so. 

 When we honor any feelings that we are having, we allow ourselves the journey to gratitude versus forcing ourselves to get there. Sometimes, particularly when physically miserable, we can’t see past the pain we are in and that is okay. Anything we are feeling is right for us in that moment. In allowing ourselves all feelings and emotions, gratitude feels so much more joyful when we are ready to go there.

Love,

Certified Professional Coach and Psychologist

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

How often have you wished for that person in your life who listens deeply, doesn’t judge you, and doesn’t try to fix you? That person who holds space for you to talk through your struggles, your hopes, and dreams so that you can live the personal and professional life that you truly want? I’m that person. Yes, I’m a psychologist and a professional life and leadership coach but my superpower is listening, deep, empathic, compassionate listening. If you’ve been seeking a professional listener who will help you live the life you truly desire, let’s set up a time to talk. My email is Lisa@LisaKaplin.com.