Is Fear Keeping You From Your Gifts?

A client recently told me that she knows she has a gift or unique strength and worries that fear will keep her from utilizing it. Over our coaching relationship, she was able to identify a few of her own gifts. Gifts that, for many years, she had kept hidden. Now she has both identified and accepted these gifts, but at times doesn’t utilize them because she is afraid to. How common is this for so many of us? There are things we excel at, and yet we keep those skills hidden. We hold ourselves back in life for so many reasons, but the biggest is fear.

So what are we so afraid of? My client said that she was afraid of playing too big, of taking risks and having others judge her. Playing small is easier and certainly less scary. Yet how does hiding our gifts benefit us or others in the long run? Certainly not at all! When we are afraid of owning and living with our gifts and strengths, we hold ourselves back personally, professionally, spiritually, financially, and in relationships. We don’t do what we are called to do, and thus live in guilt and regret for years of our lives.

What gifts could you offer the world if you overcame your fears and began living up to your potential? #fear #talents #leadership #success Click To Tweet

Fear is a totally normal emotion. It makes sense for lots of areas of our lives. I’m afraid of bad drivers, so I wear a seat belt. I’m afraid of lung cancer, so I don’t smoke. And I’m not a huge fan of pummeling down a mountain at full speed, so I don’t ski. By the way, if you do any of these differently than I do, great! No judgment here, but rather a confession of things that scare me. Fear can keep us safe in some ways, but it can hold us back in so many others. 

How do we get over our fears? We first want to address what they are. Notice them, name them and own them without judgment. Then we want to allow ourselves the experience of the emotion without judgment. We can’t get over our fears if we don’t own them first. Then we can ask ourselves how to walk through that fear to own our gifts and live the life we want to live. Maybe we can start small and take on challenges that help us to overcome our fears, or we can talk to others who have walked through similar fears. 

The key to owning our gifts and handling our fears is to literally own and live our gift. We need to recognize our fear so that we don’t live that. People do it everyday and so can you. Let me know how it goes. 

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC