The most common phrase I hear from clients, and also from myself, is some version of, “I just need to get through Friday, or next week, or today, etc.” It’s a version of “I’m going to suffer my way through the end of this time and then I’ll be happy.” When I have a busy week, I’ll catch myself saying the same thing and then I think, “Wow, that sounds miserable.” And truth be told, it is. It’s counting down the minutes or the hours or the days until you can then enjoy your life.

Yet is this how we really want to live? Counting the minutes until we can find happiness? The interesting aspect of this is when I ask my clients or myself if we’re really dreading that week or that day, it is often not the case. I love my work. I love working with clients, training new coaches, executive coaching, and group coaching. I truly love it all, so why then am I counting the minutes for a week or a day to be over?

What I’ve come to believe is that I fear my own ability during those weeks or days. “What if I can’t handle this busy week?” “What if I get too tired or too overwhelmed?” “What if I want to rest?” What I most dread during those weeks is the fear of the “what ifs.” It’s not the actual work, it’s the stories of the “what ifs” that I, and others, torture ourselves with. My husband will say, “I’ve got a huge week this week. I hope I can handle it.” The funny thing is that he always handles it. Always!

So what if you get overwhelmed? You’ll handle it. If you get sick or tired, you will handle it. The truth is that you have handled it every other time in your life and you will handle it now. You always do. What if you said, “I want to enjoy Friday and I want to enjoy what I do prior to Friday.” Or even better, “I will enjoy everything I do this week and I will especially enjoy Friday.” What if you didn’t count the minutes for your week to be over, but rather enjoyed those minutes as they came?

I challenge you to try this reframe. Whenever I do it, I feel so much better. I live in the moment and enjoy myself. When I don’t do it, I’m staring at the clock.

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC