Most of us gave up on our New Year’s resolutions a couple of months ago. Some of us may have set some goals for 2024 and are realizing that we are about a quarter of the way through this year and haven’t yet started or achieved those goals. Why is it that so many of us don’t achieve the goals that we have set for ourselves? What I find again and again is that people set goals that are both too big and too vague. “I’m going to work out more.” “I’m going to eat healthier.” “I’m going to work less and spend more time with my family.” All of these are interesting goals, but they are big and unclear. Where do you start with these goals?
Success comes when we set small, clear goals and we are particularly clear on the first step of that goal. Let’s say your goal is to work out more. Okay. How much is more? Once a week? Twice a week? How much time will you work out on those days? If you haven’t been working out at all, maybe start small with two fifteen-minute workouts a week. What will those workouts be? What do you want them to be? What do you enjoy doing that will motivate you to do it more?
Maybe you enjoy walking, so you decide to walk two times a week for fifteen minutes each walk. Great, that’s a start. But what time of day will you walk? Will anyone else be affected by your walks? Do you know where you want to walk? Do you have the clothing that would make that walk comfortable for you? If you don’t think of these things ahead of time, you will be setting yourself up to fail. Most of us set big, unclear goals and then feel as if we’ve failed when we don’t accomplish that big, unwieldy goal.
So now you’ve decided to walk two times a week for fifteen minutes each time. What’s the first step for you to actually take that walk? Do you have walking shoes? The right jacket? Set yourself up by deciding on the first step, when you will take that first step, and what could keep you from taking that first step. We accomplish our goals one small step at a time. Are you clear on yours?
I used to say I was going to work out more frequently. I would periodically join a gym and then not go after a week or two. I would try to do workouts at home, but I didn’t have the space or the time to do the hour long workouts that I felt were what I needed to do. I soon realized that I wasn’t working out because I hadn’t set myself up for success. Then I decided that I was going to lift weights three days a week for at least fifteen minutes each day. I put the workout days on my calendar, got the Peloton app for my iPad and three times a week I do a strength class on the Peloton app. The minimum I do is fifteen minutes and some days, that’s fine. Other days I have more time and energy and I do longer workouts.
The key for me was to get really clear and specific about my goals and then to set myself up to achieve that goal. Start small and clear and know that you can always add on from there. Figure out the first step for your goal and when you will accomplish that first step. Make sure your goal is something that you really want, not something you think you should do. It’s not too late to accomplish that 2024 goal. You’ve got plenty of time!
Love
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC