One of my favorite books is Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. It’s a must read. Frankl posits the concept that between a stimulus in our environment and our response lies our ability to choose how we want to respond. It’s the exact opposite of, “The devil made me do it.” It’s also dreadful for those of us who like to blame others for our problems, me included. It means that we are responsible for how we look at the world. If someone yells at us, we can choose to be angry and defensive if we want or we can choose to not take it personally.
What would this actually mean for most of us in our daily lives? It would mean being responsible for both the cause and effect of the circumstances around us. We can look at a tough day as something bad that happens to us or as a challenge that we can overcome. One is likely to drain our energy and the other to increase it. This, however, is easier said than done.
Taking Control of our Responses
So how do we do this? We stop and ask ourselves, “What will be the healthiest way for me to respond to this?” And then we literally choose our response. Choose between being a warrior or being a victim. Why would we want to respond as victims versus warriors? Victims might get more attention, but ultimately they will feel weak and hopeless. Warriors see problems as temporary and as something to overcome. They get stronger, whereas victims get weaker. Stand like Superwoman for a few minutes, and then take on the challenge. What’s the alternative?
Choose between being a warrior or victim. Stand like Superwoman & then take on the challenge. #self-determination Click To TweetChoosing our responses makes us more powerful and not at the whim of our nasty mindsets. Catch what you are saying to yourself about challenges and then ask if what you are saying is of benefit to you or anyone else. If not, are you ready to make a change? It takes practice but it’s worth it. Try it today.
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC