A phenomenal client recently said to me, “I feel free. Nothing has visibly changed in my
life, but I feel freedom that I haven’t felt in a long time.” This freedom came when she let
go of trying to be everything for everyone. When she let go of trying to get her husband
to do what she wanted. When she decided not to react when others judged her. She
let go of everything that she couldn’t control and focused on what she could and that led
to her freedom.
My client started asking herself what she wanted and she answered herself. She asked
herself what she could control and she answered, “Only me.” She also asked herself
what she loved to do, how and where she wanted to spend her time and the answers
started to come. Freedom is knowing what you want, figuring out how to get it, and
going for it. It is not controlling (or trying to control) what other people want and what
others are doing. That’s on them.
Ultimately, freedom is an inside job. We get to choose if we feel free. Sometimes what
happens on the outside keeps us from feeling free. Maybe you have a physical injury or
an illness that keeps you home or less active than you would like to be. Maybe you are
in a life situation that you can’t change for now. What you can change is how you look at
it and how you feel about it. You can decide.
The most powerful story I’ve ever read about freedom is the story of Viktor Frankl, a
psychiatrist who wrote the book, “Man’s Search for Meaning.” It’s a true story in which
Frankl, and his whole family, are captured by the Nazis in Austria. Frankl ends up
in Auschwitz. He has no external freedom, no control over his environment or what
happens to him and his family in that setting.
Frankl pursues freedom in his mind, which at the time is all he can control. It’s a
powerful book that reminds all of us that even in the most challenging of times, we can
choose how we look at our circumstances and how we can decide what freedom means
to us. I can’t recommend Frankl’s book enough. It’s a life changing read. Thankfully,
most of us will never face horrors like those in Auschwitz and yet, Frankl’s lessons
persist.
Ask yourself what freedom means in your mind. Then ask yourself how you can
think about and see things from the perspective of internal freedom. What can you
control and what can you let go of in order to achieve the powerful feeling of freedom?
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC
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Do you need help finding your voice, developing confidence and solution-centered plans to unlock the next chapter of your life in fulfilling ways that bring happiness and increased self-esteem (so that you’re not as affected by the crazy making behavior of others?) If so, I can help. Click here to learn more or inquire about my leadership and empowerment individual coaching options.