What did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be an author. Books were my joy, my escape, my adventure, and my friend when things got tough.

As I got older, slowly my dream of becoming an author faded as I took on the “have tos” and “shoulds” that seem to come with growing up and fitting (comfortably or not) into society. I went to college, got married, had kids, and though greatly enjoying all of that, felt that something was missing.

Finding Joy in Your Life

A few years ago I told my oldest son that I wanted to write a blog. It was the first time that I spoke out loud about my dream of writing. It took me another couple of years to finally gather the courage to write that first blog post. I titled it, “Not my time syndrome” about women who put off their own dreams in order to make sure others reach theirs. I was terrified to post that blog. What if people hated it? What if they liked it? What if they talked about what a bad writer I was behind my back? Those and countless other worries almost kept me from hitting send. Yet I kept saying to myself, “So what if other’s don’t like it? I can live through that.”

I published that blog and my friends really liked it (or at least they were gracious enough to say so). Since that time I’ve written many blogs to highly mixed reviews and comments. I’ve lived through all of it and woke to write again. Recently I happened on a rather terrifying opportunity to throw my blog into the mix on the “Momastery” web site. Momastery is an outrageously popular blog in which the author Glennon, shares her truths about life, family, marriage, and religion. I highly recommend it.

After applying for the event and receiving the posting instructions, I wrote my blog, rewrote my blog, hated my blog, corrected my blog, and eventually accepted my blog and prepared to post it. Yet when I went on the website ready to share it with Glennon’s hundreds of thousands of visitors I saw that HUNDREDS of other bloggers had already posted their wonderful words. HUNDREDS! I couldn’t compare to them. I wasn’t worthy of posting my little bathing suit blog amongst these amazing manifestos. Surely I would be exposed as the writing fraud that I am.

Yet my naturally (and annoying to many) stubborn nature won that day and my blog was posted for the world to see. I’m not sure how my writing stacks up to the others and I’ve realized that it really doesn’t matter. Because I WRITE! I write, I write, I write! I do that one thing that I had always dreamt of doing. The little girl with her nose in a book has written words on a page and even if no one else likes them, she wrote them. The woman who wrote that blog knows that doing something she loves to do makes her more joyful, more energetic, and more optimistic than she would be otherwise.

As always, I urge you to face your fears and do that one thing that you have always dreamt of doing. Joy and happiness wait for you on the other side whether you do that one thing well or not. Fear is in our heads and the worst case scenarios can never be worse than giving up on our dreams. Never.

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC