Faith

“What if my relationship ends?” “What if my kids fail?” “What if I don’t get that job?” “What if I make a mistake?” “What if?” “What if?” “What if?” These are words that I hear from clients almost every single day. They are understandable words. They are normal thoughts. They are the things that we all worry about. Yet how useful are these words and thoughts?

What can we do to counteract worry?

Does worry ever change anything? No. But worry certainly keeps you from enjoying the present. Worry is energy draining, it’s exhausting, and it’s not all that enjoyable to be around. So what can we do to counteract worry? What can we put in its place so that we can enjoy our lives to the fullest? How can we be present in the moment when we are anxious about the future?

Let’s consider faith. Not necessarily the religious type (though that works as well), but rather faith that everything will work out. Maybe that relationship will end, but with faith, we’d know that eventually we will be better off without it. Maybe our kids will fail, but maybe that failure will lead to growth and change for them. All we need to do is have faith in our child. What if there are no mistakes, only opportunities?

By having faith, so much time and energy would be saved because we’re replacing worry with that faith. We would be calmer and happier. Faith is growth producing in that it leads to more hope, more faith and more energy. Faith lets us move forward and try new things, take risks, and grow. Worry keeps us from any of those things. Faith isn’t blind faith, but rather thoughtful, intelligent faith about the realities in our world and knowing what we have control over.

So how do we gather up faith?

So how do we gather up faith? We start by asking ourselves how worry will help us and, of course realize that worry can’t help us. We start to ask ourselves if we can survive the things we worry about, and we will realize that we can. That’s when we start to remind ourselves that all is really well. We start to have faith that things will work out. Not always in the way that we hope for, but in a way that we can manage.

When we start to tell ourselves that we can handle whatever comes our way, then we start to live in faith and not worry. It is ultimately building faith in our coping skills and in ourselves. It is the belief that we are stronger than we think and greater than we ever thought we could be.

Faith. You might want to try it.

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC