What is it about the holiday season that makes us all so, well . . . miserable?
People seem very cranky as they hit the malls, the grocery stores, and holiday parties. Some of it seems to be the chaos of the season but after a lifetime of doing personal research on this topic it always seems to come down to one thing – guilt. We feel guilty for not having enough money to spend on our kids, or to make homemade vs. boxed stuffing, or that our house isn’t spotless and perfectly decorated.
Think about this, guilt is ruining your holiday season. Guilt is keeping you from enjoying this time with your family, from finding meaning in the season or relaxing during some well deserved time off. GUILT is doing all of these really nasty things to your happiness. Is that what you want? If not, here are some simple things to do to let go of guilt and keep the stuffing.
Ask yourself what you feel guilty about.
Does it even make sense? Can you change it? If so, do you want to? If not, can you let it go? Why not? Is guilt your excuse for not being fully happy, for not finding joy in your daily life? How is guilt serving you and are you ready to change that? So if you feel guilty about having a messy house, either clean it or live with it. Guilt will not make it cleaner nor will it make you feel good. Get rid of it.
Do you feel guilty for not being able to indulge your children with more gifts? Can you change it? If not, it’s time to own that truth for you and your kids. No child has ever died due to a lack of holiday gifts. Never. They may be disappointed but they move on pretty quickly and they’d probably rather play some fun family games in the long run. Your guilt hurts you and your child. Is that what you want?
Give up guilt for good.
How about a holiday resolution (not for next year but for right now) to give up guilt for good. Eat your stuffing without guilt, enjoy your messy house without guilt, spend less money on gifts without guilt, and say no or yes to what you want without guilt. Life’s too short to be dragged down by the unnecessary misery that guilt brings. Let it go and really enjoy your holiday season.
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC