A client said something to me recently that I haven’t stopped thinking about. She said, “I want to figure out what my purpose in life is.”
It’s a beautiful goal. It’s also a heavy one. When most of us hear the word purpose, we picture something enormous: curing a disease, starting a movement, leaving a legacy with our name on a building. No wonder so many capable, thoughtful people feel like they’re coming up short.
Let’s slow down and ask a more basic question. What does purpose actually mean?
What the research says purpose is
The definition most psychologists use comes from Stanford researcher William Damon. He describes purpose as a lasting intention to accomplish something that matters to you personally and is also “consequential to the world beyond the self.”
Researchers who build on that work break it into three parts: a long-term goal, one that is personally meaningful, and one inspired by a desire to make a difference in the broader world. Others describe purpose as a higher-order aspiration that organizes our goals, drives our behavior, and gives us a sense of direction (Stanford Center on Adolescence).
Notice what that definition does not say. It doesn’t say the difference has to be global. It doesn’t say it has to be famous. “Beyond the self” can mean your team, your family, your patients, or the one colleague who needs a steady voice in the room. Even academics debate the details: one scholar questioned whether purpose must be outward-facing at all, arguing that parts of Damon’s definition don’t fit well with ordinary conceptions of purpose.
Small purpose is still real purpose
One of my favorite studies comes from Amy Wrzesniewski and Jane Dutton, who looked at hospital cleaners. Same job, same floor, same description. Yet some cleaners saw their work very differently: they increased their interactions with others and came to see their role as that of a healer or caregiver. Nothing about the job changed. What changed was how they understood their contribution. The researchers called this job crafting, and one form of it, cognitive crafting, involves shifting how you perceive your job so it carries more meaning.
Purpose researcher Kendall Cotton Bronk makes a similar point. When big, heroic examples feel intimidating, she suggests looking instead at everyday people who are doing good in smaller ways, like a friend who collects food for people in need.
Why it matters (a lot)
This isn’t just a feel-good idea. In a 2014 study in Psychological Science, greater purpose predicted lower mortality risk for younger, middle-aged, and older adults alike, and the benefit held even after accounting for other measures of well-being like positive relationships and positive emotions. A 2016 meta-analysis found higher purpose associated with reduced all-cause mortality and fewer cardiovascular events. And a newer meta-analysis of nearly half a million people across 25 samples from the United States, Europe, and Asia found a consistent link between purpose and lower mortality risk, only partly explained by behavioral, clinical, and psychological factors.
Purpose is found, then found again
Here’s what I most want my client to hear. Purpose isn’t a single answer you discover once. Bronk’s research suggests the search for purpose is ongoing, and even when we know how we want to leave our mark, we keep looking for new ways to make progress or contribute. She also notes a cultural pressure many of my clients feel: we expect young people to explore, but by midlife, we expect them to have sorted this out. That expectation can make the search feel like a failure when it’s actually a sign of growth.
A few questions to sit with
Bronk points out that purposes usually emerge from our reasons for caring, so start with the why:
- What do I care about, and why does it matter to me?
- Where do people already come to me for help?
- If I looked at my current role the way those hospital cleaners did, what would I see?
Your purpose might be world changing. It might also be making one team safer to speak up, raising a kind human, or being the calm in someone else’s storm. Simple doesn’t mean small. It just means yours.
Love,
Certified Professional Coach and Psychologist
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How often have you wished for that person in your life who listens deeply, doesn’t judge you, and doesn’t try to fix you? That person who holds space for you to talk through your struggles, your hopes, and dreams so that you can live the personal and professional life that you truly want? I’m that person. Yes, I’m a psychologist and a professional life and leadership coach but my superpower is listening, deep, empathic, compassionate listening. If you’ve been seeking a professional listener who will help you live the life you truly desire, let’s set up a time to talk. My email is Lisa@LisaKaplin.com