Every woman I’ve ever met (myself included) has confessed that what most often holds them back in life is fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of success, failure, making a fool out of ourselves; fear of hurting others, or of even being more successful than others. All of these are reasonable fears but they aren’t helpful in propelling us to lead the lives we want to live. So how do we get over our fears?
If you look at the women around you who are successful in any aspect of their life, you will see that all of them have overcome fear. The mother who has a child with special needs was afraid when her child was first diagnosed. The woman who has been promoted numerous times was afraid to ask for that first promotion. The marathon runner was afraid when she first tied on her running shoes and the politician in your community was afraid when she first started making public speeches.
Can You Survive if Your Fear is Realized?
We are all afraid of something and the key is to understand the fear and to ask ourselves if we can survive if that fear is realized. The special need’s mom is afraid that she won’t be able to help her child and that it will be too hard for her yet when she faces that fear she realizes that she can help both her child and herself. The woman with the successful career realized that the worst she could hear is no and that she’d be ok with that but she’d never get a yes if she didn’t ask. Most of us will be just fine even if some of our worst fears are realized.
That’s the thing about fear, it’s here to protect us from really dangerous things but it’s more of an annoyance for other areas of our life. So get really clear about what scares you, look at it closely and ask yourself if you can handle it if those fears are realized. Here’s a hint, you can. Push through one fear at a time, see yourself get stronger and then pushing past fear won’t be so hard for you.
Let me know how you do.
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC