From work situations to personal relationships, it seems success in these, and almost all areas, comes from confidence. When we have faith in ourselves, we have a belief that we can achieve what we want. Yet how do we get confidence? So many of my clients and people that I meet tell me that you can’t have confidence without outward success. In other words, they set themselves up for a catch-22. I can’t be confident without success and I can’t have success without confidence. 

So how do we build confidence without outward success? It’s a question I get asked constantly. My answer is always the same, radical, unconditional belief that we are already everything we need to be. We are unlimited from the minute we are born until the day we die. (And who knows…maybe beyond.) When I tell my clients that radical acceptance of ourselves and our worth is what builds confidence, they look at me as if I’m crazy. “I don’t believe that.” Is their common response. Their skepticism is understandable and yet ultimately, they know I’m right. 

Until we can hear ourselves say, “I am enough. I am limitless just as I am.” we won’t feel confident. We will second guess ourselves. We will tell ourselves a story that limits us in some way and limits our belief in ourselves. If you attempt to do something from a place of already limited confidence, you are already setting yourself up to fail. What if you had confidence not only in yourself and what you are seeking to do, but also in your ability to handle whatever comes your way? Even failure? 

Confidence doesn’t always mean you’ll achieve what you want to achieve. However, it will allow you to land softly and kindly if you don’t achieve what you want. Confidence will help you get back up and try again. Confidence whispers in your ear, “You’ve got this. You know this. This is your strength, your gift. Go for it.” Most of us weren’t raised or surrounded by those messages, so it’s our opportunity as adults to give ourselves those messages, even if we don’t believe them at first. 

The more confidence you have in yourself, the more you will show up with that confidence at work, in your personal life, and for yourself. Look around you at the people who seem both successful and happy and you will see people who have confidence in themselves and their abilities. They built the confidence internally and then utilized that to achieve what they wanted externally. You can do that too. We all can.

Love,

Certified Professional Coach and Psychologist

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How often have you wished for that person in your life who listens deeply, doesn’t judge you, and doesn’t try to fix you? That person who holds space for you to talk through your struggles, your hopes, and dreams so that you can live the personal and professional life that you truly want? I’m that person. Yes, I’m a psychologist and a professional life and leadership coach but my superpower is listening, deep, empathic, compassionate listening. If you’ve been seeking a professional listener who will help you live the life you truly desire, let’s set up a time to talk. My email is Lisa@LisaKaplin.com.