Last week, one of my clients was going through a very difficult time. She was ready to just succumb to the unhappiness she was feeling. Understandably, she felt angry, out of control, and pissed off at me and the world. Yet she sent me an email that had this line,
“I realized that I do need to find some happiness in this crazy mess that keeps getting crazier. It is my voice that needs to change. I can’t give up on changing what I tell myself even though this thought process has been imbedded in my brain for decades. The negativity is holding me back from moving forward . . .”
Her email brought tears to my eyes because I know how rotten her situation is, yet she was able to find the courage to dig even deeper. My client realized that she couldn’t change the chaos around her, but she could change what she said to herself about it. It’s not going to be easy, yet her desire to do so is what will lead her to happiness and calm.
“I spent years telling myself a really nasty, negative story. “
I spent years telling myself a really nasty, negative story. The only person I hurt with that story was myself. It didn’t change anyone around me. It didn’t improve my relationships. And it certainly didn’t make me happy. When I finally learned to change my voice, I was finally able to change myself. That voice still periodically shows up, but I catch it and change it faster than ever before in my life.
When my clients get to the moment in which they realize that changing their voice will change their lives, I know that they are going to be just fabulous. Crappy things happen in our lives and yucky people show up, but how we respond to those people and situations is completely up to us. Changing our voice is hard work, but changing it will bring us peace and joy.
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC