As always, I learn so much from my clients. Recently, one of my clients came up with the brilliant phrase of “building her intentionality muscle.” We were discussing goals in her life and how to achieve them when my client had the epiphany that she has typically just reacted to life in the past. How many of us can agree with that awareness? Me, for sure! We get caught on the treadmill of life, and instead of hopping off and setting our own course, we follow the one that we think we should be on.
My client realized that she didn’t want to do that anymore. Rather, she wanted to intentionally choose her own path in her relationships, her career, and her future. So how does one become more intentional? We get more conscious and we get more clarity about who we are and what we really want. Often, we’ve been following a path of “shoulds” versus a path of true wants and desires. “I should put my family first.” “I should take this job because it pays well even though I have no interest in it.” Those aren’t intentions, those are “have tos” and ultimately, they are going to drain you of your joy.
Designing an Intentionality Workout
My client was done living that way. She was ready to find and own her own joy and build her intentionality muscle by getting clarity on what she wanted each and every day. To intentionally practice yoga, or hang out with a friend, or spend time with family. To intentionally stay in bed and not practice yoga and not see friends and not see family. She decided that she would intentionally choose and then fully be in that moment and be happy with it. How often do we choose to relax and then berate ourselves for not doing something else? That’s not intentionality. That’s misery.
Want to live with a greater sense of purpose? Build your intentionality muscle by getting clarity on what you want each and every day. #intentionality #control #joy #mindfulness Click To TweetSo how can you build your intentionality muscle? How can you be in choice every day and intentionally move through your day without guilt, shame, or shoulds? Start each morning by asking yourself how to be intentional with your day so that at the end of your day you aren’t regretful for not choosing to live it. “I’m intentionally going to eat that piece of chocolate and be glad that I did.” “I’m intentionally going to take a work break and take a well-deserved walk in the woods.” “I’m going to say no to that request, because I really don’t want to or have to do it.”
Many of us spend lots of time building our bicep muscles. Maybe it’s time to add some intentionality muscles to your training program. You won’t regret it.
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC