When I first started my coaching business many people consulted me to be very careful about my opinions. “Don’t talk about politics, religion, etc. You might alienate some people.” Their advice was well intentioned but it really didn’t work for me. I’m a women’s empowerment coach. I help women to find their voice in life, in business, and most especially for themselves. I help them to ask for what they want, to prioritize themselves, and to be assertive in all areas of communication. What kind of role model would I be if I didn’t show them that I’m willing to have an opinion?
Admittedly, saying what’s on my mind is sometimes scary for me. I want people to like me. I’m a true people pleaser and it pains me when someone isn’t pleased with me. Sharing an opinion is the easiest way to make others unhappy with you! Yet, how can women support each other, support those that need their help, and advocate for themselves if they don’t have a voice? They can’t and that’s why I’m willing (even when it really scares me) to open my mouth and share an opinion, or defend someone else, or even to disagree. I try to do it kindly and without cruelty but I won’t back down from doing it.
Find Your Voice and Use it
I’ve lost a couple of friends this way. I’ve probably lost a few potential clients or job opportunities yet I wouldn’t change it for the world. When women are silenced in any aspect of their lives, they are no longer in charge of their own destiny. I refuse to sit back and let that happen. I strongly encourage you to find your voice and to use it. Use it for yourself, for your family, for your community, and for the greater good. It’s ok to disagree and it’s ok to say no. Empowering ourselves can only happen when we do so.
Having a voice is not for the faint of heart! Be ready for people to call you bossy, bitchy, pushy, etc. It’s guaranteed that a few people who enjoyed walking all over you are not going to be happy with this turn of events. Be kind, be compassionate, listen to others but never, ever lose your voice in the process. It is the most powerful gift you have so don’t let it go to waste.
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC
Well, this opinion certainly pleases me, Lisa!
Many women are so accustomed to swallowing their words or choking them back that the sound of their voice is affected. They’re missing the richness and resonance that’s possible when we speak from our core — instead the voice is small and tinny and maybe nasal-sounding.
The antidote is to practice speaking our truth. And I suggest starting small. With honest answers to questions like, “How was the meal?” and “Did you find everything you were looking for?”. As we get over our need to please even the restaurant manager and the cashier at Mariano’s it gets easier to move on speaking our truth in situations where there’s more on the line. (You know, with our mothers or our husbands or our best friends.)
It IS scary, sometimes, to speak our truth. And it’s so important for our own well-being and for our daughters; they need to hear women willing to say what’s on their mind.
Thanks for sharing yours.
Catherine,
Thank you so much for sharing your voice with the world! I consider you one of my finest role models and feel very lucky to hear your voice.
lisa,
This hits a chord with me. I am so non- confrontational that I keep my mouth shut most of the time.
This makes me feel invisible.
Thanks for sharing this information.
Teresa, I’m always fighting the invisible battle! Thanks for sharing.
One of the reasons I follow you is that you have a voice and you use it!
Thank you!
Lots of retirees feel their opinions and voice no longer matters…
Good one!