I’ve recently shared a statistic with all of you that people who eventually quit smoking for good have, on the average, 12 previous and failed attempts at quitting smoking. An average of 12 times they tried to quit and failed. If they had given up on the first try based on the assumption that they had tried and failed, they would still be smoking today.
“I can’t possibly do it.”
Many people that I meet tell me that they tried something, failed, and thus now know or assume that they can’t possibly do it. “I can’t lose weight. I’ve tried and failed.” “I can’t get along with my husband. I tried and failed.” “I can’t get that promotion because I asked once and they told me no.” “I’m a bad mom because I tried to discipline my kids and they talked back to me so I gave up.” These are just a few of the examples that I hear on a daily basis.
When my clients tell me that they can’t possibly try again, I not only know that they can but I also know that eventually they will succeed as long as they keep trying. If you’ve tried to incorporate a healthy exercise plan to your life but have failed in the past, ask yourself why. What do you need to do differently to succeed in the future? Did you try the wrong exercise? Did you try to do too much exercise or activities that were too strenuous for you? Did you work out at a time of day that wasn’t really great for you? Did you have the mindset of, “I hate exercising?”
Do you really want to give up on making that powerful change in your life?
There are so many reasons that it may not have worked out for you but do you really want to give up on making that powerful change in your life? Don’t assume that because you haven’t figured it out yet, you won’t. Think of the 12x formula and keep going. Try again. Try in a different way. Seek help in the form of advice or support. Even if you’ve tried 12 times, keep going. Ask more questions of yourself; analyze your mindset, your feelings, and how you show up to make these changes.
Anything fabulous or major that I’ve accomplished in my life hasn’t come easy. I’ve failed so many times that I make those ex-smokers look like speed quitters! Yet I’ve trusted the process and I’ve gotten back up and tried again. I’ve learned something powerful with each failure and it’s put me on a path to succeeding in a different way, maybe even a way that I hadn’t thought possible.
Keep the 12x Formula in your head and go out there and try again! I’d love to hear about your progress so drop me a note and let me know how you are doing.
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC