In my search for my own self-esteem and well-being I’ve met so many women who seem to struggling with these issues as well. Rarely do I hear a woman say that she is comfortable in her own skin, confident in her abilities, and impervious to the criticisms of others. Some have one of those three conquered but it seems rare to have all three.
Why Are We Blind to Our Beautiful Qualities?
Why is this? Why are we so able to see our faults yet are blind to the qualities that make us strong, happy, and beautiful? Why don’t we see what those who love us see? I’m not sure that I have the answer yet I do think that as women hit puberty there does seem to be a self-esteem drain that continues throughout adulthood. I think media and advertising play a role but I think it’s bigger than that as well.
Building our self-worth and self-esteem is not a one-ticket endeavor yet maybe if we start with one small change, it will lead to bigger and better strides. Here’s my radical idea, how about you start to believe it when someone says something nice to you. When someone says, “You look nice today” believe them. When they tell you that the project you did was wonderful, thank them without diminishing their compliment. When someone praises your children or your parenting, own it!
Shots of Happiness to Your Soul
I wouldn’t have to convince you to own the negatives so why do I have to pitch it to you that the positives might be true as well? Maybe you are as great as people tell you you are. Maybe it’s all true! What would happen if you accepted their words and took them in as little shots of happiness to your soul? What have you got to lose?
Take compliments from a stranger and tally them as fact. When a loved one compliments you that should count as double. When you compliment yourself or recognize your own amazing qualities, that’s priceless. Start today start right now. You are wonderful. Even if I don’t know you, I know that you are wonderful. It’s time to be wonderful and to believe that we are too.
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC