Without giving too many graphic details, my 84-year-old mother almost died recently. She became severely ill, the medicine wasn’t working, and if things didn’t turn around quickly, she would have only had days to live. Hospice was called, plans were made, and all my family could do was wait.
Here’s the ending: after a heroic effort by an ICU team, my mom survived. Yet what happened in the space between when we thought we were losing her and when we learned she would live left me with some of the most profound conversations I’ve ever had with her and my father.
My parents have been married for 65 years. They love each other deeply. During this 48-hour crisis, both were consumed with worry for the other. They cried often, fearing this was the end of their love story. Both longed for more time together — in their quiet home, with their two pets. They spoke about how unbearable it would be for my father to live without my mother. Truly, a love story for the ages.
What moved me the most, however, was how grateful they both were for their lives. They said, without hesitation, that they had lived happy, good lives. They raised two children they loved dearly. They were never wealthy, but always had enough. They weren’t big travelers or social butterflies. My father had a solid career, not one that changed the world, but one that gave them stability and joy.
To an outsider, their lives may have looked simple — maybe even dull. But to them, it was rich and meaningful. Though they weren’t ready to say goodbye, they could do so with peace, knowing life had been good to them and that they had cherished it fully.
So here’s my question for you: If you learned you had only a short time left, would you be able to say, “I’ve lived a great life”? Or would you whisper, “I’ve got lots of regrets”?
There’s no judgment here — just an invitation. What would need to change in your life so that you could feel at peace, like my parents did? My mom’s sadness, when she thought she was dying, came from knowing she wouldn’t see the people and animals she loved so much. But even in that sadness, she carried gratitude — for a life well lived.
Could you do the same? And if not, what would you change starting today?
Love,
Certified Professional Coach and Psychologist
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How often have you wished for that person in your life who listens deeply, doesn’t judge you, and doesn’t try to fix you? That person who holds space for you to talk through your struggles, your hopes, and dreams so that you can live the personal and professional life that you truly want? I’m that person. Yes, I’m a psychologist and a professional life and leadership coach but my superpower is listening, deep, empathic, compassionate listening. If you’ve been seeking a professional listener who will help you live the life you truly desire, let’s set up a time to talk. My email is Lisa@LisaKaplin.com.