As part of the work that I do, I facilitate trainings on a variety of topics for leaders. One
of the more popular topics that I facilitate is “Executive Presence for Women.” As much
as I enjoy working with women and supporting them in achieving their goals, it frustrates
me that women are being told that they don’t have executive presence. Who says?
Well, mostly male leaders say so. I don’t think these male leaders are bad guys, but
rather they are men who are so used to the way men lead that they aren’t comfortable
with how women lead and thus suggest that women need more executive presence.
Women get called out for their voices that are apparently either too loud or too soft.
Women are told that they are, “too much” and women of color hear that more than white
women do. What is too much and who gets to decide if someone is too much? Female
leaders often tell me that if they talk too much in a meeting or too little in a meeting, they
are chastised or told that they aren’t executive material. What happens when women
get so much mixed feedback? They don’t know how to show up! They lose the authentic
parts of themselves that make them uniquely special and uniquely qualified.
Last I checked, there is no official handbook on executive presence. There are certainly
some outdated ideas that were developed by men and for men in the area of executive
presence, and yet those outdated ideas could actually be hurting all of us. What if
executive presence is how we show up as a leader, how we motivate and inspire others
and, how we influence others to show up as their most powerful and competent version of themselves?
What if executive presence looks different for each of us depending on who we are as
individuals and also the environment we work in?
What if we stopped telling women how to be executives and actually promoted them to
executive positions? What if we trusted that they are highly qualified and will lead in
a way that works best for them and the people that they lead? What if we expanded the
picture of executives beyond gender, race, ethnicity, age, physical ability, etc? What if
we are missing out on some powerful and highly qualified executives because we are
leading them to believe that they don’t have the presence to be leaders? What if, stay
with me here, leaders can look, act, and show up differently then the leaders we have
known up until today?
I’m not saying that middle-aged white men can’t be great leaders, there are plenty of
great examples of them in the world. What I am saying is that they aren’t the only ones
who can be great leaders. By limiting who we let lead by some archaic definition
of executive presence, we are losing out on powerful, brilliant potential leaders. And that
loss hurts us all.
Love,
Certified Professional Coach and Psychologist
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How often have you wished for that person in your life who listens deeply, doesn’t judge you, and doesn’t try to fix you? That person who holds space for you to talk through your struggles, your hopes, and dreams so that you can live the personal and professional life that you truly want? I’m that person. Yes, I’m a psychologist and a professional life and leadership coach but my superpower is listening, deep, empathic, compassionate listening. If you’ve been seeking a professional listener who will help you live the life you truly desire, let’s set up a time to talk. My email is Lisa@LisaKaplin.com.