Many people tell me that they have the news on all day long. From what I can tell,
regarding many of the news stations, is that they are only giving you bad news and
hateful opinions. What could possibly be making you feel exhausted and hateful
after listening to bad, aggressive news all day? Scrolling social media? Not much
different. Lots of aggressive, judgmental, hateful posts and opinions. After even a few
minutes of that, I start to believe that the world is a horrible, hateful place and yet I
know, that isn’t really the truth.
Why are we so attracted to hatred and negativity? I know for me it’s often related to how
I feel about myself. If I’m upset, or insecure, or fearful, it’s easy to be attracted to angry,
hateful content. I feel less lonely in my unhappiness when I find others who are equally
as unhappy. And yet, that unity doesn’t feel very good for very long because it’s unity
based on hatred and judgment. Those feelings don’t feel good in the long run and I
don’t like who I am when I’m spending too much time in those feelings.
Maybe we are attracted to hatred because it feels good to feel part of something, to
unite against others, or to sit in judgment of others versus ourselves. That good feeling,
again, doesn’t last though and we end up just filled with anger, resentment, and hatred.
Who does that serve? Certainly not our long- term life satisfaction, relationships,
or success. Hate holds us back, judgment drags us down, and constant negativity
poisons our mind and our desire to grow, learn, and connect with each other.
During this highly contentious presidential race, the level of hatred seems astronomical.
The judgment, the rude comments, the racism and sexism all feel so draining and
overwhelming. It’s easy to want to hate back when people show up that way. I’m
working hard on not snapping back, hating back, or even judging back. Admittedly, I’ve
got quite a bit of work to do in that area.
Some things that have really helped me are getting away from social media, the news,
and negative people. Endless scrolling on social media has never once raised my
energy and the news is much worse. I’ve removed many highly judgmental, hate-filled
people from my life and it’s actually quite freeing. My life is too precious to spend time
with people who spew racist, sexist, highly judgmental comments. I try not to judge
them and I also try not to spend time with them. Both can be highly beneficial to my own
emotional wellness.
Hatred and negativity are alive and well in our world and the only way to turn that
around is for each of us to choose differently. It isn’t easy. Hatred is contagious and so
are negativity and judgment. How will you set boundaries around your own well-being
to not absorb all of that negativity?
Love,
Certified Professional Coach and Psychologist
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How often have you wished for that person in your life who listens deeply, doesn’t judge you, and doesn’t try to fix you? That person who holds space for you to talk through your struggles, your hopes, and dreams so that you can live the personal and professional life that you truly want? I’m that person. Yes, I’m a psychologist and a professional life and leadership coach but my superpower is listening, deep, empathic, compassionate listening. If you’ve been seeking a professional listener who will help you live the life you truly desire, let’s set up a time to talk. My email is Lisa@LisaKaplin.com.