Last fall, we had to put our sweet old dog Ginger down. My family was heartbroken, me especially. I told everyone that I was going to get a dog in a few years and just enjoy a quiet empty nest for now. Well, that ended when a friend sent me a picture of a puppy with the saddest eyes and a sad story to go with those eyes. He was a puppy mill rescue that needed eye surgery and a loving home. We picked Ralph up from his crying foster mom a couple of weeks later and now he’s ours.
His foster mom, as well as the rescue agency, told us that Ralph was the sweetest, most mellow guy they’d ever met. He was cuddly and calm and the perfect dog for an empty nest home. Ralph is actually very sweet and he is also pure freakin’ chaos. He runs into things, throws toys around the house, tries to nibble on our fingers and toes, and thinks the inside of the house is where he should do his bathroom business. We brought Ralph to a puppy training class and he was in a timeout within the first five minutes of class. Apparently, he was working up the other sweet puppies and thus he needed a bit of a break.
As with most things in my life, once I relax a bit, I can find some fabulous lessons in chaos. Ralph has clearly been sent my way to help me realize a few things.
- Release all expectations. Seriously. Let go. I wanted Ralph to be mellow, house trained and a seamless part of our family within a week or two. Clearly that isn’t going to be. I’m causing my own stress by having expectations that can’t be met by a little wild puppy.
- Find the humor in it all. When we first brought Ralph home our daughter came to meet him and help out. One morning when my daughter was on a work call, Ralph used the family room rug as his personal toilet. I went to try to clean it up and accidentally spilled my blueberry smoothie on the same rug. Ralph then wanted to lick up the smoothie, all while my daughter needed us to be quiet. The scene was so outrageous that I fell into a fit of laughter and had to leave the room so as not to disrupt my daughter. Life is funny. Puppies are funny. And if everything is going to ultimately be okay, find the humor.
- This too shall pass and usually pass fairly quickly. Ralph’s only going to be a puppy for a short time. He’ll learn to use the yard as his toilet, he’ll learn not to eat furniture or fingers, and hopefully he will stop running into inanimate objects head first. Who knows. One day we may remember this puppy stage with nostalgia or we may remember it as the wild chaos that it is. Either way, it will pass.
- Love what is. Ralph is here to stay even if he isn’t well behaved. He’s not like our other dog, he’s not as well behaved as his friends in puppy class, and yet he is ours. We will love him no matter what and don’t we all deserve to be loved in just that way.
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC