Is it me, or do a lot of people seem really unhappy? My friends who are therapists are filled up with clients and are working at their maximum. If you read much on social media, it seems like lots of unhappy, cranky people are there as well. What is wrong with everyone? There are obviously lots of theories; it’s social media, it’s post COVID, it’s a divided country/world, work is no fun, etc. I’m sure all of that plays a role, but I’m wondering if maybe we’ve always been kind of unhappy and we are just now deciding to say so.

Technically speaking, literally and metaphorically, life is easier now than it’s ever been. We have resources and running water (at least most of us do), toilets, and access to medical care and yet we don’t seem that healthy and we certainly don’t seem that happy. Maybe all of those resources aren’t part of a happiness equation, but I’m guessing they don’t hurt. So what’s missing for people?

As with most things, I don’t have all the answers, but I do have questions. Do you know what makes you happy? What brings you joy or contentment in life? Is what you seek even possible? If not, why are you holding on to a wish that can’t come true, versus finding some new ones that can? Do you need some help figuring out who you are and what you want? What’s keeping you from getting that help? We are social beings. Who said we have to figure all of this out ourselves?

Are you so used to being miserable that you are not even sure what “not miserable” feels like? What’s your biggest fear about not being unhappy? What’s the worst that can happen if you decide to choose joy for your life? What’s the worst that can happen if you choose joy despite all of the crud that has happened in your life? Who do you know that lives that way? How would you feel about asking them why they are so darn happy?

I’m glad that people are sharing that they are not so happy. Sharing our feelings is how we connect with each other, and it certainly seems that some compassion and connection are desperately needed these days. I’m not talking about whining or continuing to complaining, but rather an open and honest conversation about how you’re feeling and how you need or want support for those feelings. We seem to be experiencing a loneliness epidemic in our country, so really talking and listening to each other can only benefit us.

So, who is with me on getting really aware of why and when we are not happy? Then we can use that awareness to decide what we are going to do differently so that we are not so miserable. Let me know how you do.

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC