Twelve Kind People

What happens when you put twelve truly kind people into a room, push their buttons, have them learning for three ten-hour days, and ask them to show up for each other in the most authentic way possible? You get magic. True magic. Recently, I taught a group of twelve people in Los Angeles, and like many other learning classrooms, I was amazed at the beauty we can generate when we choose to show up with kindness.

How often do people gather to complain about others, to denigrate, to criticize or to manipulate? How often do you turn on the television to see outlandishly cruel behavior, fake news and slanted news stories, as well as political leaders and organizational leaders behaving badly? Go on Twitter (or any other social media for that matter) if you want to see some truly reprehensible comments and posts. Cruelty is easy. It’s low hanging fruit, it takes no effort whatsoever, and it’s outrageously contagious.

Cruelty is easy, cheap, and contagious. Kindness takes effort, but creates the magic of friendship, connection, and growth. #kindness #cruelty #leadership #compassion Click To Tweet

Find the Twitter posts of any famous person who leans toward, or is full on cruel, and you will find thousands of comments in support of their cruelty. They attract people with their cruelty. Who among us hasn’t been pulled to look at a bad car crash, a fight, or even the news? Something about that cruelty, judgment, and misery calls to us. Maybe those moments and behaviors are enticing mirrors that allow us to judge ourselves less because we see others behaving in ways that we have or have wanted to behave ourselves. Maybe they just stimulate us away from the monotony of our day to day lives. Either way, there is no doubt that we can be attracted to cruelty and division.

The Magic of Kindness

Yet, when we decide to show up authentically, with kindness, and an open mind, miracles happen. True miracles. The twelve kind people in my class came from very different backgrounds. They also differed in race, ethnicity, religion, socioeconomics, sexual identity, gender, and career choices. And yet, they came in with open minds, open hearts, true kindness, and the true desire to see and hear each other. They pushed each other’s buttons and still they were kind. They were exhausted and yet still they were kind. They left that weekend with new friends, new insights, and the awareness that kindness always brings growth. Always.

What would happen in your life if you chose kindness more often than not? Even if others around you are not showing up that way? What if you sought and supported leaders who lead with kindness and compassion? What if you chose your media based on kindness instead of cruelty? How different would your life be? How different would the lives of those around you be?

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC