I’ve claimed an empty nest on and off for the past four years. Each time I’ve been wrong, but I’m willing to try again. In September, our sweet dog left us for squirrels in the sky and in October, our youngest chose to move away from his parents who were annoying the hell out of him. We offered our too large for two people home to him for as long as he’d like, yet he chose a tiny studio apartment in Chicago over all that home and yard space. Go figure.

As with every parenting stage and transition, this one brought its own feelings. Our baby was finally done with college and he was ready to start his adult life but honestly, his timing wasn’t good. We had just lost our sweet dog so we weren’t quite ready for a completely empty house. How dare he. As I’ve noted in the past, raising independent children has its pros and cons. The con is they are independent. The pro is, of course, that independence gets them off the payroll. Mixed bag for sure.

Our house is now quiet, clean, and lonely. It’s been thirty years since that has happened. I guess my husband and I had acclimated to chaos, mess, and noise and now we have to reacclimate. We signed up for this parenting thing three separate times. I’m glad we didn’t know how much would be expected of us and for how long. I think we would have run away had we known the extent of it. Plus, my gosh kids are expensive!

Now we face a future with just the two of us, for better or worse. Marriage has also brought its share of revelations, most of which I had no idea when I said “I do” to my young groom. This year has brought both of us into our sixties, sending our last child into adulthood and saying a grief-ridden goodbye to our dog. Life is a wild adventure filled with all of the feelings and all of the experiences.

Although each moment has led to the next and they have all been as they should, there are days that I just want to return to being a young mother cuddled on the couch with my three young children, our dog, and a great children’s book. Yet the empty nest calls me with its calm and quiet. And living in the moment is without question the best way to experience the empty nest . . . at least for now.

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC