Frequently on this blog I talk about my friends, my children, my clients, and my husband. Luckily, they tolerate being the subjects of my reflections and musings. Admittedly, I don’t always ask for permission, but rather forgiveness if any family member is annoyed with me for including them in my weekly post.
Up until this point, I haven’t shared much about my one and only sibling, my brother. Maybe it’s because I don’t see him that frequently or maybe it’s that, as different as he and I are, he knows me like no other and our relationship is so sacred and special to me that speaking of it feels a bit scary. After a long and challenging year, I got to see my brother recently. My time with him reminded me of how lucky I am to have a sibling, especially him.
The Yin and Yang of Sibling Joy
Let me first tell you that my brother and I have consistently cancelled each other’s political votes. We are literally on exact opposite ends of the political spectrum. I’m pretty sure that this has been the case for most of our adult lives. Yet when I’m feeling stressed about life, my brother is often the first person I reach out to. He is a great listener, he is kind, he is compassionate, and he will almost always take my side if I complain about my husband, kids, or our parents.
As kids, we didn’t get along that well. I was jealous of him and was certainly a somewhat rotten older sister. Yet my brother forgave me time and time again and always came to my rescue when I needed him. We really started to become friends when we became adults. This is where having a sibling has been such a joy. My brother gets me and I think I get him. We know each other’s history and family dysfunction. When our family is together and I’m feeling annoyed or frustrated with our parents, all I have to do is make eye contact with my brother to know that he gets it too.
Having someone who really understands our childhood experience, as well as our current experience as adults in family of origin dynamics, is so wonderful. I know not all siblings experience this. And I know many people don’t have siblings and they lead full and happy lives. Yet I feel so lucky and grateful to have my brother. A sibling can be that unique combination of friend and family that can bring so much joy and comfort to our lives.
A sibling can be that unique combination of friend and family that can bring so much joy and comfort to our lives. #siblings #family Click To TweetThe COVID year has led me to some deep thinking on life, relationships, support systems, and how I want to spend my time from here on out. COVID helped me to clarify my values, my spiritual life, and my gratitude practice. Having a sibling, particularly my brother (and no, you can’t have him) has been one of the greatest joys of my life. His laugh, his intelligence, and his understanding have all made me a better person and a happier one. Maybe one day we will even agree on politics, though how boring would that be?
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC