One of my good friends recently got a big promotion. Essentially, she got two promotions in one and went from working on her own to managing others and doing what she does best. Needless to say, she was flattered by the promotion and accepted it, albeit somewhat hesitantly. She wasn’t sure if she actually wanted to manage other people. My friend loved what she was doing and because she was so good at it, she got offered the promotion.

Within a few months, it became apparent that she was working way too many hours, feeling overwhelmed, and not really enjoying her work the way she used to. After a bit of soul searching, my friend decided to take the risk of telling her boss that she no longer wanted the position. She even offered to help hire her replacement. Lucky for my friend, she works for a great organization and has a wonderful boss who supported her in her decision. On our mutual friends group chat, one of our friends wisely texted, “Congratulations on your demotion.”

The True Meaning of Career Success

My friend later told me that she wanted to enjoy her career and her life and that the higher-level position wasn’t leading to that. I’ve heard many executive and corporate leaders say similar things. Many of them were not as lucky as my friend in that the promotion offer is often, “Take it or leave the organization.” Another client recently told me that he has climbed as high as he would like and the next promotion is one that he doesn’t want in that he sees how demanding it is. He told me that his family is his top priority and the money and prestige of those higher positions are not enticing to him.

I have a few other clients and peers in similar positions. Although my sample size is pretty small, my sense is that this isn’t uncommon. Maybe the COVID virus has all of us facing both our mortality and our life choices. Many of us are choosing a life that feels more stable and peaceful, albeit slightly less profitable or prestigious. What if this deadly virus led more of us to a simpler existence that feels more fulfilling and less like a rat race?

Most of us have spent our lives trying to climb some type of career ladder. We often do so without stopping to think if it’s even what we really want. What if we took more time, like my friend and clients, to ask ourselves what matters most in our lives and how we can best live those values? What if a demotion is exactly what we want and we make that choice, as privileged and as scary as it might be? What if the celebration has been around slowing down versus the constant climb? It looks like this virus is going to give us a few more months to think about just that.

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC