Today is my youngest child’s 21st birthday. It seems impossible that time has gone this quickly and he is now a full adult. What a joy it has been to raise him and to have him home for these last few months. I’m not sure if he has enjoyed it as much as his father and I, but since he doesn’t have much choice he has made the most of it. My oldest child often suggests that the youngest had different parents than he did. He really is right.
My husband and I pretty much gave up hope that we were going to be fully in charge of our home with three children. We were outnumbered and we knew it. With that awareness came a calm that we didn’t have when our two other children were born. I guess we knew that things work out, that they get easier, and that no amount of stress or worrying made us better parents. Our concerns about little league baseball or the dance team seemed silly and ridiculous over time. We learned to spend more time in the moment rather than worrying about the future.
Our youngest has his own unique personality and path in life. He challenges our belief systems on a daily basis and has made us rethink our worldview. In this time of COVID, having young adults in our home has led to some very interesting and challenging conversations. Who knew I would learn so much about the world from my children? Who knew I would learn so much about myself from my children? They are a mirror that is often times incredibly beautiful and at other times rather terrifying.
What have your children taught you about the world and yourself? #parenting #children #learning Click To TweetI look at new parents and think of all of the love and energy I have put into my children. If you had asked me if I had sufficient sources of both, I’m not sure I would have thought so. Those new parents are in for quite the ride and maybe it’s better that they don’t know how exhausting it’s really going to be! Although we are never done parenting, it certainly feels less tiring now. I find my children to be part of the solution of living, versus the challenge of it.
With each of my children’s birthdays, I think of the day they were born and so many of the milestones since then. I remember gazing at each of them the first time I was able to hold them. My love for each has expanded exponentially, as has my gratitude for their existence. I can still see the baby in each of their young adult faces. I remember the baby giggles and sweetness that that age brings. And yet, this stage of having them in my life as competent and loving adults is equally as sweet.
The parenting adventure continues. It has not been a dull ride in any way!
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC