Rumination #1

For the last couple of years, I’ve been trying to talk my husband into selling our home and downsizing. Our oldest son is married and living in another state and our two younger children are in college, so they are rarely home. My husband had steadfastly refused to even consider moving and has often said, “What if they need to move home and live with us for an extended length of time.” I laughed at his nervous nature and said, “When could that possibly happen?”

To my husband’s credit, he has not yet said, “I told you so.” Maybe taking credit for something when a pandemic hits doesn’t feel like a good marriage plan to him and maybe he’s wiser than I’ve given him credit for. Either way, thank goodness we didn’t downsize, because we now have four people and a dog living in our home and we have no idea when that will end. 

Rumination #2

I really, really miss my kids when they are at school. And then I’m really, really ready for them to go back to school after they’ve been home for a couple of weeks. Now I’m really, really working on enjoying having them home without getting too focused on when they will leave again. It feels a bit like having a newborn, not getting any sleep, and thinking, “One day I’ll sleep again.” Now, however, I’m thinking, “One day my house won’t look like a drinking glass factory.” Some of you will get that.

Rumination #3

I’ve been allowing myself to experience a myriad of mixed feelings throughout this pandemic situation. I’m grieving the loss of the traveling aspect of my career, while also realizing how minimal that loss is in the grand scheme of the pandemic. I love to travel. I love going to the airport, getting on a plane, setting off for another adventure, experiencing the peace and quiet of my own hotel room, and then looking forward to going home again. I miss it terribly and yet, I also realize that many people are losing so much more. I’ve realized that I can both experience and feel my own privileged loss, while still empathizing and grieving for and with others. Comparing losses and then judging them won’t help any of us. We are all suffering large and small losses and feeling that is both normal and understandable.

During this pandemic, comparing losses won’t help any of us. You can experience your own loss while still empathizing and grieving for and with others. #Coronavirus #COVID-19 #emotions #grief #connection Click To Tweet

Rumination #4

We humans are a tenacious bunch. Since the “shelter at home” order in Illinois started, I’ve participated in numerous Zoom happy hours, conversations, training sessions, family connections, and even helped my husband set up his monthly poker night. I’ve celebrated a dear friend’s 50^th birthday party by dropping gifts at her front door and then a car honking parade by her house where we all sang happy birthday to her from our cars. 

A virus can’t keep us from each other. A virus ultimately can’t steal our spirit, our joy, and our will to live. We grieve, we adapt, and then we grow. The fact that we can do that in the midst of such chaos, fear, and loss is truly a testament to who we are. We are all in this together, and if we stay together (Virtually for now!) we will be stronger and more resilient for it. 

Stay healthy, listen to your local leaders, wash your hands, and take care of each other. 

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC