Every year at the end of Thanksgiving and Christmas season, I hear how miserable people are and how they vow to never have another holiday season like that again. Then the next year comes and boom, they are miserable all over again. We all know that over committing, over eating, over drinking, and over buying lead to regret at the end of the season and yet we all seem to do it year in and year out. How can we thrive this holiday season, but still feel as if we’ve had some fun and celebrated?
First, set an intention for your holiday season. Set it as if it has already happened, “I am filled with joy after this holiday season.” “I’m healthy and happy and have enjoyed choosing the amount of celebrating that I did this holiday season.” How do you want to feel in January? No judgment, just awareness. Do you want to feel exhausted, bloated, broke, and cranky? If not, what do you want to do differently this year to have it end differently?
Second, after the intention, sit down and get specific with your calendar and how much or how little you want on it. Set the limits now so that you aren’t trying to set them in the middle of all of the chaos. Set time and financial limits and tie them to your intention that you set above. Then ask yourself, “What has kept me from living within those boundaries in the past?” That is the place you are likely to find your own story about the holiday season, which leads to step three.
The story you tell yourself about the holiday season is probably the reason you either love or hate the season. #Christmas #Thanksgiving #NewYear #holidays #boundaries #intentions Click To TweetThird, listen to the story in your head about the holiday season. Is it leading you down a path to enjoy the season or dread it? Most of us have some pretty old stories about the holidays and they often come from our childhood memories. Did you come from a family that believed you have to spend thousands of dollars on gifts, spend days (or weeks) decorating, and eat as much food as humanly possible in order to make the holidays fun?
Did you dread holidays because your family often fought with each other? Or maybe someone would overindulge in a way that felt pretty uncomfortable for the rest of you? Did you face a major loss around the holidays? Did you always set your expectation ridiculously high and then almost always feel disappointed when the holidays were over? The story you tell yourself about the holiday season is probably the reason you either love or hate the season.
Set an intention, set your calendar, and if necessary, change your story and see how much easier it is to enjoy and even thrive through this coming holiday season.
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC