The holiday season is such a mixed bag of emotions for so many people. Stress levels are high due to expectations and demands that we put on ourselves. Materialism is alive and well, and family dynamics come into full play during the season. No wonder so many of us are completely wiped out by the time January roles around. Yet year after year, so many of us do the same thing again and again. Why is that?

Why do we insist on a level of holiday madness that truly makes us all mad and more importantly, how can we do the holidays differently? One of my friends says that the craziness starts with candy intake on Halloween and continues all the way through to January 2nd. What would it take to make the holiday season more pleasant, more meaningful, and ultimately less exhausting?

We’ve all heard the tips: set a budget, eat healthy foods, drink more water, and don’t focus on stuff, but rather on the meaning of the season. Yet, go to any local mall and you will see that not a lot of us are following these tips. What would it take to change our mindset around the holidays, even if we don’t change our behaviors?

What would it take for you to make the holiday season more pleasant, more meaningful, and ultimately less exhausting? #holidays #christmas #selfcare  Click To Tweet

Let Go of Perfect and Enjoy the Holidays

What if we said to ourselves, “The holidays are fun.” over and over again? Would we believe it or would we just need more cocktails to drown out the annoying affirmation that we don’t really feel? What if we took out the, “Everything must be perfect.” messaging and instead thought, “Let’s make this holiday season as messy and chaotic as possible.” Would that make it more enjoyable?

I don’t have the perfect answer for me or for anyone else, but I know that happiness and joy don’t come when we try to force it or when we make it dependent on the happenings of one month a year. I’ve actually found my holiday season to be more and more enjoyable the less and less I focus on them. I stopped making a big deal out of all of it and suddenly it all was more fun. Fewer gifts and more togetherness has worked for my family, though you would have to confirm that with my kids.

Now I look forward to time off, lazy couch days, walks with my dog and other family members, and some spontaneous time with friends and other loved ones. The less on my calendar for the month of December, the better. That may not work for all of you, but have you thought about what would? What would have to happen during December that would lead you to feeling joyful and satisfied in January? Work backwards and make that happen!

The holidays mean something different to each of us and if we each take responsibility for our own happiness during this time, we are all likely to feel quite a bit more festive and joyful through the season. So get clear on what you want, make it happen (if possible), and make this your best holiday season ever.

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC