When our family added our wonderful dog Ginger to our home, I voraciously read dog-training books. I have also been known to plow through parenting books for good tips and advice. Managerial and leadership books, same thing. I love to read and I love good recommendations and suggestions on how to lead to the best of my ability. This includes dogs and humans alike.
One of my favorite dog training tips was mentioned in almost every book I read. It’s related to getting your dog to leave the dog park. Dogs love dog parks and understandably, don’t want to leave. Most dog owners call their dogs over when it’s time to go and the dog has no interest in leaving. The dog trainers recommended calling your dog over numerous times during a dog park visit and giving them a treat and letting them go off to play some more. Otherwise, your dog thinks you are only going to call them over when it’s time to go. Who wants to be called in only for bad news?
The Power of Positive Engagement
So why am I telling you about this type of dog training? Am I suggesting that your employees or your children are dogs? I’m not. I am, however, suggesting that most of us call our children and our employees over with bad or negative feedback far more than we do to give them some good news or a treat. We may even do the “we need to talk” with our spouses or partners, which leads to an immediate negative reaction when we reach out to talk to them.
When is the last time you called out your kid or your coworker to give them positive instead of negative feedback? #leadership #parenting #management #praise #appreciation Click To TweetWhen working with leaders and managers, I often suggest that they get in the habit of having conversations to give positive feedback as often as they do negative feedback. If your employees think that you only want to talk to them when something is wrong, they won’t be very motivated to engage with you. Our children are similar. Keep track of how often you give corrective or negative feedback and see if it is far more frequent than the opposite. If so, it’s time to add some positive motivation to those with whom you lead.
Another good tip is to just connect throughout the day with employees, co-workers, and family members. Don’t make every interaction a working or corrective one. Instead, get to know people by chatting about common interests, life, current events, hobbies, etc. Teamwork requires connection, whether at work or with our family. Connection won’t happen if we only connect around negativity. Take dog trainers’ advice and treat those around you to frequent positive interactions. You won’t regret it.
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC